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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
2 yrs

BREAKING: Angela Carini first women’s boxer to be disqualified for striking opponent in her testicles
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genesiustimes.com

BREAKING: Angela Carini first women’s boxer to be disqualified for striking opponent in her testicles

PARIS—In a shocking and unprecedented incident at the Paris 2024 Olympics, Italian boxer Angela Carini has become the first athlete to be disqualified for striking her opponent, Hergie Bacyadan, in the testicles during a women’s boxing match. The controversy unfolded in the quarterfinal bout and has left the sporting world in disbelief. The highly anticipated match took place at the “Equalité and Inclusión Arena,” where spectators were treated to an intense display of skill and athleticism. However, the third round took an unexpected turn when Carini delivered a low blow that sent Bacyadan crashing to the canvas, clutching her midsection. #OlympicGames   Update In a historical first for women's Olympic boxing, Italy's Angela Carini is disqualified for hitting opponent in her testicles. pic.twitter.com/MAWVqumgfZ— Caballero (@HughAkston0) July 30, 2024 In the aftermath of the match, Carini defended her actions, expressing confusion and frustration. “I mean, Hergie is almost as big and strong as a man. She could almost be fighting in the men’s bracket. Her big hairy balls are her only weakness. So, I went for it.” Referees immediately paused the match and convened to review the footage. It quickly became apparent that Carini’s punch had landed in a sensitive and historically uncharted area. After a brief but tense deliberation, the officials made the groundbreaking decision to disqualify Carini for the illegal strike. “This is a first for women’s boxing,” stated head referee Janet McGregor. “The sport is evolving, and our rules must evolve with it. We prioritize fairness and the safety of all athletes, and this decision reflects that commitment.” Bacyadan, who quickly received medical attention on her testicals and recovered, addressed the media with remarkable composure. “These things happen in sports,” said Bacyadan, ice pack in hand. “We’re all pushing boundaries and making history. I respect Angela and hope for a rematch under less controversial circumstances.” The incident has ignited a firestorm on social media, with hashtags like #LowBlowOlympics and #UnexpectedStrike trending across platforms. Memes, jokes, and serious discussions about the future of gender inclusivity in sports have taken the internet by storm. In response, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) issued a statement reaffirming their dedication to inclusivity and fair play. “This incident highlights the complexities of modern sports. We are committed to reviewing and updating our rules to ensure the safety and equity of all athletes.” As the debate rages on, sports equipment manufacturers are reportedly scrambling to develop new protective gear, ensuring that all competitors, regardless of gender, can compete safely and fairly. The post BREAKING: Angela Carini first women’s boxer to be disqualified for striking opponent in her testicles appeared first on Genesius Times.
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
2 yrs

Transwomen complain about uniforms crushing their balls during dominating performance
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genesiustimes.com

Transwomen complain about uniforms crushing their balls during dominating performance

PARIS—The Chinese track and field team that recently dominated the high jump at the 2024 Paris Olympics weren’t all smiles—there were some grimaces. At least three women jumpers in the team of Sum, Ha, Ve, and Dong are biological men and found the uniforms to be uncomfortable. “If the International Olympic Committee doesn’t account for some women that compete in women’s sports having lady balls and approve uniforms that fit us, then we are going to be forced to protest and not participate,” Dong said through a translator, clutching a strategically placed ice pack. Thomas Bach, President of the International Olympic Committee, was quick to apologize to the manly women. “We offer our deepest apologies to these women for offending their personhood and humanity and will do anything we can to pretend that their demands aren’t the most ridiculous thing we’ve ever heard,” Bach said, struggling to keep a straight face. The transwomen’s demands for custom uniforms that accommodate their unique anatomy have sparked a debate within the Olympic community. “We need to ensure all athletes feel comfortable and supported, regardless of their biological differences,” Bach added, sidestepping the question of how to explain this to actual women who have to compete against them. Despite there being absolutely no difference between men and women, officials are still eagerly awaiting the influx of biological women into men’s sports. So far, there have been zero takers. “We’re all about equality,” said one official, stifling a laugh. “Any day now, we expect to see women dominating the men’s 100-meter dash. Any day now.” As the debate rages on, sports equipment manufacturers are reportedly working overtime to develop new, more inclusive athletic wear. “We’re looking into everything from reinforced support cups to custom compression shorts,” said one designer. “It’s a brave new world out there.” In the meantime, the Chinese team has vowed to continue their quest for Olympic excellence, even if it means a few more uncomfortable landings. Despite there being absolutely no difference between men and women, officials are still awaiting the influx of biological women into men’s sports. Originally published September 5, 2019. The post Transwomen complain about uniforms crushing their balls during dominating performance appeared first on Genesius Times.
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Science Explorer
Science Explorer
2 yrs

Even trees 'hold their breath' to avoid harmful wildfire smoke, research finds
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Even trees 'hold their breath' to avoid harmful wildfire smoke, research finds

Trees don't like to breathe wildfire smoke, either.
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Nostalgia Machine
Nostalgia Machine
2 yrs

Riley Keough Set To Visit Graceland To Promote Her Mother’s Posthumous Memoir
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doyouremember.com

Riley Keough Set To Visit Graceland To Promote Her Mother’s Posthumous Memoir

Following the death of Lisa Marie Presley, her first daughter, Riley Keough, collaborated with Random House Publishing to bring the late singer’s half-done memoir, From Here To The Great Unknown, to life. While promoting the book, Riley is set to appear at The Soundstage in the famous Graceland estate later this fall, where she will be answering questions and addressing issues about their celebrity lineage. What will Riley Keough be doing in Graceland? Instagram According to Graceland’s website, the upcoming event will be an “one of a kind,” as Riley is ready to get candid about her family, fame, personal struggles and life so far.  Although there is no news as to whether Riley’s grandmother, Priscilla Presley, will be present,  it promises to be revealing. RELATED: Priscilla Presley, Riley Keough Come To An Agreement Over Graceland To End Family Feud Completing her mother’s book has been a feat for Riley, whose signature is on each copy for every fan who acquires their $40 ticket, which also comes with a lithograph. This will mark Riley’s second Graceland project after Christmas In Graceland, with many more ahead. Instagram Riley’s ‘Presley’ side Like her mother and talented grandparents, Riley had proven to be an impressive creative, excelling in the entertainment industry. The Emmy-nominated actress has appeared in iconic films like Daisy Jones and the Six, where she played the lead and the recently released Sasquatch Sunset. Instagram Riley is also the sole owner of Graceland, thanks to Lisa Marie, who secured her position by changing the will years ago— to Priscilla’s disappointment. She again proved her passion for the Presley name by showing responsibility and speaking up against the sale of Graceland months ago. Click for next Article The post Riley Keough Set To Visit Graceland To Promote Her Mother’s Posthumous Memoir appeared first on DoYouRemember? - The Home of Nostalgia. Author, Peace A
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YubNub News
YubNub News
2 yrs

Olympics LGBT Last Supper scene signals intent to reshape the world
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yubnub.news

Olympics LGBT Last Supper scene signals intent to reshape the world

By Joseph Mattera, Op-ed Contributor Wednesday, July 31, 2024French lesbian DJ Barbara Butch poses as Jesus in a parody of "The Last Supper" featuring men in drag. The scene offended Christians worldwide…
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YubNub News
YubNub News
2 yrs

Court Rules that Texas Can Maintain Floating Border Barriers
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yubnub.news

Court Rules that Texas Can Maintain Floating Border Barriers

In the latest legal battle over the Biden-Harris Administration’s open-border policies, a federal court has ruled that the state of Texas can maintain its barrier of floating buoys that block off potential…
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YubNub News
YubNub News
2 yrs

San Francisco Considers Proposal to Pay Welfare Recipients Who Stay Sober
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yubnub.news

San Francisco Considers Proposal to Pay Welfare Recipients Who Stay Sober

The far-left city of San Francisco, California is considering a measure to give payments to welfare recipients who test negative for various drugs, in order to combat the city’s rise in drug use. As…
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YubNub News
YubNub News
2 yrs

Former Google Executive Reaches Settlement with Company Over Firing
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yubnub.news

Former Google Executive Reaches Settlement with Company Over Firing

Last week, a former executive at Google managed to obtain a legal settlement with his former employer, which fired him for allegedly not being “inclusive” enough. According to the Daily Caller, Ryan…
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YubNub News
YubNub News
2 yrs

Donald Trump Pledges to “Go After” Censorship From Google, Facebook
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yubnub.news

Donald Trump Pledges to “Go After” Censorship From Google, Facebook

Republican presidential nominee and former President Donald Trump responded to reports that Big Tech giants Meta and Google allegedly censored information relating to the July 13 attempt…
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YubNub News
YubNub News
2 yrs

FACT CHECK: Did Starbucks Join The Heritage Foundation As An Official Sponsor Of The 2024 RNC?
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yubnub.news

FACT CHECK: Did Starbucks Join The Heritage Foundation As An Official Sponsor Of The 2024 RNC?

A viral image shared on Facebook claims Starbucks joined the Heritage Foundation as an official sponsor of the 2024 Republican National Convention (RNC).Verdict: False The claim is false. While Starbucks…
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