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A video created by Blake Kasemeier has made a lot of people feel seen because it perfectly explains the mindset people develop when they grow up poor. But it’s not just about remembering the hard times of the past. It describes how even though Kasemeier has overcome poverty as an adult, the effects of growing up financially disadvantaged still follow him to this day.Kasemeier tells stories on social media about parenting, grief, growing up and where they sometimes collide. He documented the loss of his mom in the 2019 podcast series “Good Grief” and has written for some of the world’s leading health and fitness brands.The video begins with Kasemeier admitting that when he was young, he'd always save half of his food until he got home "just in case." It was a symptom of living in a financially unstable family with a single mother who had him at 23 years old. To help them get by, she occasionally wrote "hot checks" at the grocery store and blasted a Counting Crows tape to cover up any scary sounds coming out of the car.Even though sometimes it seemed like they wouldn't get by and it was “close most days” — "moms always find a way." See on Instagram The video ends with a poignant stanza about the lasting effects of growing up in an economically unstable home.“It sits inside of you. Kinda like a worry but a lot like a flame,” Kasemeier says. “These days, we are doing alright. Maybe the fire finally went out, but there is a part of me that will always taste the smoke.”"The thing about being born rich or, rather, not poor, is that when you are broke, it feels like you are a tourist on a bad trip. A place that you don't belong," Kasemeier continues. "The thing about being born the other way around, is that as hard as you work to escape it, it's always gonna kinda feel like homeThe post received some emotional reactions from people on Instagram."I feel the last sentence is the most profound of this video—and the underlying sense of entitlement many have vs the underlying sense of lack of self-worth others may have," thewitchofportobell0 wrote."Tasting the smoke is a great way to put this. Growing up this way really makes you look at some of your frugality and not norm habits in a new light. Hard to relearn," Jakemerten added. See on Instagram Even though there were hardships growing up in an economically disadvantaged family, Kasemeier wouldn’t have it any other way. “I am deeply grateful for the way I was raised,” he told Upworthy. “Unfortunately, everyone experiences some trauma in their upbringing—I wouldn't want to trade mine for someone else's. I grew up to be grateful for what I have and without a feeling of entitlement to success: I expected that everything that came to me was going to come through hard work and being kind to people and that has served me very well. It also allowed me to have a great deal of empathy for what everyone is going through.”Kasemeier further explained the mindset to help those who weren’t raised in that environment better understand the mentality.“I can tell you that what I experience is a feeling that the other shoe is going to drop, that when I'm up (financially), I don't expect it to last—that leads to a lot of imposter syndrome,” he told Upworthy. “There are little things—like constant anxiety that your card will decline when you go to check out at a grocery store (knowing full well that you have more than enough money). There are big things, like financial literacy.”The video talks about economic insecurity, but is also touching tribute to his late mother, who, as he said in the post, found “a way.”“She came from a tiny farm in rural Arkansas, moved to Hollywood where she met my dad and had me at 23 without a degree or any connections,” Kasemeier told Upworthy. “They had a shotgun wedding and divorced shortly after, my mom was left to navigate parenthood in a pretty challenging way—something I appreciate so much having kids of my own at a totally different place in my life than she was.”This article originally appeared on 2.8.24

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?" Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers. "You are killing it as a dad."Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me." Windshield Note. byu/RCampR6 inYosemiteThe note reads: "Bro,I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter. From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up. P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right? Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:"That would make any daddy's eyes water.""It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment.""I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."via GIPHY"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day." "10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol.""We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️""I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful.""Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."via GIPHY"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones.""This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days.""I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not. We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

It’s interesting to think about the moments that will stick out to us as the best when we reach the end of our lives. Will it be the dramatic events such as having a child or graduating college? Will it be the day we met our spouse or that incredible concert you saw on a warm summer night in your 30s?Will it be the day you got a job promotion or your first apartment? Will the best times be in a specific decade—your teens, 50s, or even 70s?Torchy Swinson, an 84-year-old great-grandmother of 6, grandmother of 5, and mother of 3, believes the best days of your life may be happening right now, but you may not realize it. They may even be the ones you forget.Swinson shared her thoughts on the best days of a parent’s life in a TikTok post that has received over 240,000 views. @torchyswinson2 #youngmothers “I just want to tell you something,” she said, looking straight into the camera. “It's six o'clock. You're in the kitchen, you're making Hamburger Helper. Your husband just got home from work, you hear him in the living room with the kids. They're playing, laughing, they're giggling. It makes your heart feel good.”“You don't know it yet, but this just might be one of the best days of your life,” she continued.When are the best days of your life?To Swinson, the best days of your life are those that, at the time, you may feel are ordinary—when you are spending time with your loved ones. But the thing is, they really aren’t that ordinary. An 84-year-old woman may only have her child living with her for a quarter or less of her life. And during the later years, the child is mostly gone.Swinson lost her husband 5 years ago and she’d probably do anything to have him back in her life. So, if we think about it, ordinary days are really quite spectacular. The post received over 750 comments, many of which were from people who were thankful for the reminder to embrace our everyday lives."You are so right; ordinary days are truly the best. I love the. More than big events,” Jill wrote. "We don’t even realize it, do we," Deb added. Brooke shared that her mother gave her the same advice: "My mom tells me this all the time. I embrace the craziness and the messiness. Great wisdom." "As a kid, when my mom was making the Hamburger Helper, I didn’t realize those were some of the best days ever,” Nick recalled.How much time do people spend with their kids throughout their lives?A widely circulated but hard-to-document statistic going viral across social media states that 75% of the time we spend with our children is over by the age of 12. Further, by age 18, we will have spent 90% of the time we will ever have with our children. @beneaththesheetz Data says that 75% of the time you will ever spend with your child is complete by the time they reach 12 years old. And by the time they turn 18…90%. Would love to hear what y’all do in your homes ?? #smartphones #socialmedia #mentalhealth #parenting #childrenfirst Whether the stat is 100% correct or not doesn’t matter. The critical fact is that our time with our kids is limited and we will see them less and less once they become teenagers. One day, they will leave the house and possibly start a family. By the time we reach Swinson’s age, there probably isn’t anything she wouldn’t trade for having one more summer’s day in the yard blowing bubbles for her kids or sitting down to have dinner and asking them what they did at school.Even if they’re typical kids and probably won’t remember what they did in school.So, thank you, Mr. Swinson, for sharing some perspective you can only have in your 80s. Hopefully, it will provide some solace to stressed-out parents, help them appreciate the messiness of parenthood, and remind them to be extra present with their kids whenever possible.