Love songs are where we get our passion, our soul — and most of our worst ideas.Throughout human history, oceans have been crossed, mountains have been scaled, and great families have blossomed — all because of a few simple chords and a melody that inflamed a heart and propelled it on a noble, romantic mission.On the other hand, that time you told that girl you just started seeing that you would "catch a grenade" for her? You did that because of a love song. And it wasn't exactly a coincidence that she suddenly decided to "lose your number" and move back to Milwaukee to "figure some stuff out."That time you held that boom box over your head outside your ex's house? You did that because of a love song. And 50 hours of community service later, you're still not back together.Love songs are great. They make our hearts beat faster. They inspire us to take risks and put our feelings on the line. And they give us terrible, terrible ideas about how actual, real-life human relationships should work.They're amazing. So amazing. And also terrible.Here are six love songs that sound romantic but aren't, and one song that doesn't sound romantic but totally is:1. "God Only Knows," by The Beach BoysYou can keep your "Surfin' Safaris," your "I Get Arounds," and your "Help me Rhondas."When it comes to The Beach Boys, "God Only Knows" is where it's at. A lush garden of soft horns and breezy melody. A tie-dye swirl of sound. A landscape of haunted innocence with some of the most heartrending lyrics ever committed to the back of a surfboard.Youth! Youth! Youth! Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images.Here's why it sounds romantic:I may not always love youBut long as there are stars above youYou never need to doubt itI'll make you so sure about itGod only knows what I'd be without youIf you're traipsing through a meadow in a sundress with your beloved and not playing "God Only Knows" on your iPod, you should really stop and start over.If you're lazily bumping a beach ball over a volleyball net and "God Only Knows" isn't playing somewhere in the back of your mind, you need to rethink the choices that got you to this point.If you're a video editor compiling footage of grainy hippies frolicking in the mud and you're not underscoring it with the opening chords of "God Only Knows," you are doing it wrong.It's a song that just feels like love. Pure love. Young love. Love with a chill, kelp-y vibe.What could be wrong with that?Here's why it's actually really, really unromantic:There's nothing wrong with loving someone. Sending them flowers. Leaving over-the-top notes in their P.O. boxes. Stroking their hair as they fall asleep while you whisper the complete works of Nicholas Sparks into their ear.But there is such a thing as loving someone a skosh too much.If you should ever leave meThough life would still go on believe meThe world could show nothing to meSo what good would living do me?Look, I get it. Breakups suck. There's no getting around that. But good God.There's a huge difference between saying: "Hey babe, you are my first and foremost everything and I'll be bummed if you go." And saying: "Welp, you accepted that job in Seattle, so I'm just gonna chug a bunch of nightshade and call it a life."But that's pretty much the gist here. Which makes this line...God only knows what I'd be without you...horror-movie creepy. Because the answer, apparently, is: "I'd be a corpse!"That's not love. That's codependency (to put it mildly). Oh, and hey! Threatening to kill yourself if your partner leaves isn't loving. It's a form of emotional abuse.Investing all your happiness and sense of self-worth in any relationship — one that, by definition, might one day end — is putting a lot of eggs in one basket. Sure, God may only know what you'd be without her, but God probably also hopes you have, I don't know, some hobbies. Take a yoga class. Google some woodworking videos. Try kite surfing.One person cannot be anyone's be-all and end-all. It's too stressful. And it prevents you from doing you, which is a thing that's gotta be done before you can do anything else.No wonder she took that job in Seattle.2. "Treasure," by Bruno MarsSure, it's a blatant rip off of every Michael Jackson song you've ever heard. But, we don't have Michael Jackson anymore, and as tribute acts go, you could do a lot worse than Bruno Mars.Here's why the song sounds romantic:Treasure, that is what you areHoney, you're my golden starYou know you can make my wish come trueIf you let me treasure youIf you let me treasure youPass those lyrics to anyone on a used napkin at an eighth-grade make-out party and you'll likely get an instant toll pass on the highway to tongue-town (ew).Pass them to your spouse and, chances are, date night is going to culminate in 47 minutes of chaste-yet-passionate frenching.Pass them to a cop who pulls you over for running a stop sign, and they will think you're weird — but probably still make out with you.In fact, Bruno Mars basically has a lifetime pass to make out with America because of this song.And I'm OK with that.But, here's why "Treasure" isn't as romantic as it seems:Everything about "Treasure" is retro. Everything.Including its attitudes about gender.Things start to go south right from the very beginning:Give me your, give me your, give me your attention, babyI gotta tell you a little something about yourselfAh yes. Nothing screams "respect" quite like a man lecturing a strange woman on the street about something she "doesn't know about herself."What could it be? Could it be that her jokes are funny? Could it be that she's got something in her teeth? Could it be that her nonfiction book about early modern German history is extremely detailed and informative?Spoiler Alert: It's none of those.You're wonderful, flawless, ooh, you're a sexy ladyBut you walk around here like you wanna be someone elseOh. It's that she's sexy. Cool, bro. Very original.Word of advice? Regardless of how she's walking, the lady knows she's sexy. Even if she doesn't, it really doesn't affect her day-to-day so much that you, a complete stranger, need to shout it at her (even over a funky disco snare).So what if she does want to be someone else? I'd love to be someone else! I think being Ryan Gosling would be quite nice. A good way to spend a three-day weekend.And then later, of course, the narrator can't help himself:Pretty girl, pretty girl, pretty girl, you should be smilingA girl like you should never look so blue.He respects her so much, he's actually straight-up telling her to smile! Much like Mars' character "Uptown Funk," who appears to get off on angrily exhorting girls to "hit [their] hallelujah." Which, you know, I guess everybody's got a thing.Yes, in the world of "Treasure," a healthy relationship is an unending stream of a man complimenting a strange woman and said woman being so totally flattered that she immediately dispenses "the sex."He then proceeds to talk to his potential lover like the world's creepiest pirate:You are my treasure, you are my treasureYou are my treasure, yeah, you, you, you, you areYou are my treasure, you are my treasureYou are my treasure, yeah, you, you, you, you areBy this point, in his mind, she's a literal thing. An object. Which is fitting.I suppose it could be worse, though. At least she's not just any thing.That's ... something, right?3. "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right," by Bob DylanFor as long as humans have been dating each other, humans have been breaking up with each other. And "Don't Think Twice" is a portrait of a relationship going down in flames. Glorious, poetic, acoustic flames.Here's why it sounds romantic:Well, it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babeEven you don't know by nowAnd it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babeIt'll never do somehowWhen your rooster crows at the break of dawnLook out your window, and I'll be goneYou're the reason I'm a-traveling onBut don't think twice, it's all right.Boom. Strummed on out of that friends-with-benefits situation like whoa."Don't Think Twice" is a raw song. An honest song. A powerful song. It's the song your older sister played on continuous loop for six months after her boyfriend left for college. The song that convinced your Aunt Roslyn to leave her bank-teller job, load her four Australian shepherds into the van, and open a wind chime store in Mendocino. The song your friend's cool dad always wants to play when he invited your high school band over to his apartment to jam.Sure, it's about the end of a relationship, but it sounds romantic. And at the end of the day, shouldn't that be enough?Here's why it's actually sooooo messed up:Relationships end. For a lot of reasons. And while there is no right way to call it quits with someone, when the dust settles, both parties can certainly benefit from a difficult, honest discussion about what went wrong.In "Don't Think Twice," that discussion basically boils down to: "It's your fault."Let's review the reasons the dude in "Don't Think Twice" is splitting with his lady friend:I gave her my heart, but she wanted my soulUgh, women, right? You're all like, "Babe, I just have so much unspecified love to give," and she's like, "Take out the trash!" And you're like, "But baaaaaaabe, shouldn't my heart be enough?" And she's like, "No, seriously. I already did the laundry, cleaned the whole house, fed the dog, did the dishes, and made both of our lunches for the week. All I need you to do is take out the trash." And you're like, "You're bumming me out. I'm gonna go play guitar." And then she gets all mad! What did you do? Why is she trying to change you? UGH!You could have done better, but I don't mindYes. You do mind! You mind! You wrote a song about it, you passive-aggressive prick.You just kinda wasted my precious timeAh yes. Your time is so precious! Think about all the hours you wasted plumbing the ocean-deep, ecstatic mysteries of human partnership when you could have been futzing around with that home-brew kit.The minute you start breaking it down, the message of "Don't Think Twice" suddenly starts to seem a lot less romantic. Like your sister's ex-boyfriend, who worked at the Bass Pro Shop in town for a while and now might be in jail. Like your aunt's wind chime store, which would have closed forever ago had she not received that inheritance from her mom in the '80s. Like your friend's cool dad, who wasn't exactly, technically, paying child support.Oh yeah, and the song's narrator also point-blank refers woman he's leaving as:A child, I'm toldThat's right. In addition to being a run-of-the-mill passive-aggressive jerk — turns out, he's also possibly a pedophile.Even if we are to accept that this is a metaphor and she's not actually a child — which there's no indication it is, but OK, Bob Dylan — the fact that Commitmentphobe Gunderson here would willingly choose an immature partner reflects way more poorly on him than it does on her.Breaking up with anyone in such a cruel, dismissive way is a recipe for sticking them with years of therapy bills.Which, I suppose, may be the point.4. "Leaving on a Jet Plane," by John DenverWho has two thumbs and wrote a bittersweet folk song about hurtling through the stratosphere in a giant aluminum tube at 600 miles per hour?Here's why it sounds romantic:"Leaving on a Jet Plane" is a lovely song. And impressive in its loveliness because jet planes were still kind of new at the time it was written.'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet planeTo a modern ear, this would be sort of like singing, "I'm a scoooting away on my hoverboooooard," but in a way that's somehow still folksy and heartbreaking and singable by 9-year-olds at summer camp. Not easy to do!Oh babe, I hate to goYou see — he hates to go! He just hates it! We know this, because he tells us he hates it. And why would he hate to go if he didn't love his partner just that much?Why indeed?Here's why it's actually not that romantic at all:All the plaintive guitar, loping bass line, and twangy, melancholy warbling in the world can only distract so much from the fact that the song's main character is well, kind of a jerkweed.And in reality — surprise surprise! — it doesn't actually seem like he hates being away all that much:There's so many times I've let you downSo many times I've played aroundI tell you now, they don't mean a thing"Babe, I promise! All the movies I watched alone while you were home nursing the quadruplets. All the times I drained our life savings on Zoo Zillionaire. All the random sex I had with other women. Totally meaningless. Certainly fun to do! Really fun. Like, I had a fantastic time. But rest assured — completely empty, in an ontological sense."Yes, when you break it down, "Leaving on a Jet Plane," is less of a passionate tribute to love overcoming distance and more the deluded ramblings of a guy who needs to convince himself he's "good" despite all evidence to the contrary.And for all he claims to be broken up about having to part from his one and only, the dude seems pretty excited about the flight. Oh, you're leaving on a jet plane, are you? Are you Zone 1? Gonna humblebrag on Twitter about the "terrible" Cibo express salad you were forced to choke down as you sat waiting to embark on your fun, mysterious adventure?He continues:Ev'ry place I go, I'll think of youEv'ry song I sing, I'll sing for youAh cool. He'll think about her while strumming and making "my love is delicate as the morning dew" eyes at a waif-y grad student in the front row. That pretty much makes up for it all.Then he demands:So kiss me and smile for meTell me that you'll wait for meAfter all the betrayal and heartbreak, after basically revealing himself to be a grade-A sleaze who can't be trusted, he still has the gall to tell her to wait? To wait for him?And here's the kicker:When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ringAh yes. He'll put a ring on it. Finally.Unlike all the previous trips, where he's cheated a billion times, drained the family bank account, and just been a general screwup and disappointment.But yeah. This time he says he'll bring back a wedding ring.I hope she joins a polyamorous octad and never looks back.5. "When a Man Loves a Woman," Percy SledgeWhen you look up "soul" in the dictionary, the book plays you a recording of this song.Specifically, it plays you the very first line.Here's why it sound very romantic:When a man loves a womanSure, you can write the lyrics down, but it doesn't even come close to capturing the heartache. The yearning. The delicious, delicious pain-belting:WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMANCloser ... but still no.WHEN A MAAAAAAAN. LOVES A WOOOMAN!Yes! Sing it, Percy Sledge!It's an elemental lyric.It's a heart-shattering lyric.It's a lyric that demands you put your back into it.It's perfection.As long as you don't keep listening.Here's why the song is actually pretty horrifying:From the opening lines of "When a Man Loves a Woman," we know that, at least on occasion, a man loves a woman.Which raises the question: What happens when said man loves said woman?He'd give up all his comfortsAnd sleep out in the rainIf she said that's the wayIt ought to be.Whoa! OK. No. Back up. A man, no matter how devoted, no matter how selfless, no matter how in love, needs shelter. Otherwise, a man will die of exposure and hypothermia.Turn his back on his best friend if he put her down.No! Jeez. No. A man can't put up with that kind of isolating behavior. A man needs friends! Once a man's whole support system erodes out from under him, a man will be bitter, ungrounded, and alone. And a man's mental health will deteriorate.I gave you everything I haveTryin' to hold on to your heartless loveBaby, please don't treat me bad.This is not what happens "when a man loves a woman." It's what happens when a man loves a controlling, manipulative woman. An abusive woman. A woman who, in truth, only loves a woman. Herself.And that's not healthy.Run, Percy Sledge, run! We're here for you.(Side note: Lest it go unsaid, there is way more than one way for a man to love a woman. Maybe they spend every waking moment cuddling and bopping each other on the nose. Maybe they sleep in separate bedrooms. Maybe they dress up in large, plush cat costumes and refer to each other Mr. and Mrs. Kittyhawk. And when a man loves a man, I imagine it feels much the same. Or when a woman loves a woman. Or when a gender nonconforming person loves a gender nonconforming person.)Regardless of the depth of commitment, living situation, or combination of genders or sexual orientations, there's no one-size-fits-all love solution. Every relationship is a unique snowflake. Variety is the spice of life. Necessity is the mother of invention. There's more than one way to skin a cat. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. It doesn't matter if it's the right metaphor, as long as it's a metaphor.Point being: Generalize at your peril, Sledge. And please, seek help! You can do this! And if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, please give these people a call.6. "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You," HeartHonestly, Heart could sing a list of the most popular AllRecipes ("Jaaaamie's Cranberry Spinach Saaaaalad/World's Best Lasaaaaagna/Sour Creeeeeam Cutouts") and it would make me want to bawl my eyes out in the arms of a tall, dark stranger at the end of a pier.This song is perfect. You should always be listening to it. If you're not listening to it now, smack yourself in the face and Google it. It's just that important.I am singing the phone book. You are weeping like a tiny baby. Photo by FatCat125/Wikimedia Commons.So much passion. So much pain. So much hair.Here's why it sounds romantic:Over pounding drums and a soaring melody, Heart sisters Nancy and Ann Wilson deliver a primal tribute to the one true romantic fantasy shared by every living being on Earth: picking up an unnervingly attractive man for one night of mind-blowing sex and then releasing him back into the wild to bone — but never quite as compellingly ever again.They sing:It was a rainy night when he came into sightStanding by the road, no umbrella, no coatSo I pulled up alongside and I offered him a rideHe accepted with a smile so we drove for a whileI don't have to go on because you know what happens next, and it's awesome.Now, here's why this song is not romantic at all:The relationship in "All I Wanna Do" seems too good to be true. And it is. Because it's not an equally loving ,or even equally lusty, pairing at all.It's a...It's a...Well. You know what it is:For a while, things are humming along just fine, like any wholesome, illicit, anonymous affair should:I didn't ask him his name, this lonely boy in the rainFate, tell me it's right, is this love at first sight?Sure, many of us might hesitate to pick up a strange leather-jacket-clad man standing on the side of the road for a no-strings-attached screw, but our narrator just has a feeling about this guy, and sometimes, you gotta go with your gut.I can respect that.We made magic that nightHe did everything rightGreat! Seems like it was a good decision. Bonking the hitchhiker is payin' off big time.But then, without warning, the song starts to sound less like an all-time great romance and more like a story men's rights activists tell each other as they vape around a campfire:I told him "I am the flower, you are the seedWe walked in the garden, we planted a treeDon't try to find me, please don't you dareJust live in my memory, you'll always be there"I'm not a poet. Symbolic language often eludes me. But unless "flower," "seed," "garden," and "tree," suddenly mean wildly different things in the context of human reproduction than they have since sex was first invented in the early-1970s, we're talking about a surprise, non-mutually-consensual pregnancy!Of course, metaphors are opaque, interpretations vary, etc., etc., etc. You might be tempted to think, "Maybe Heart meant something else by that."To that I say, no, they definitely meant it:Then it happened one dayWe came round the same wayYou can imagine his surpriseWhen he saw his own eyesThere are two possibilities here.One: The narrator of the song is recently-deceased Jerry Orbach from this creepy New York City subway ad from nine years ago:Or two: She totally conned a dude into whipping up a baby on the sly.I said, "Please, please understandAh, sure. Yeah. No worries.I'm in love with another manCool, so this all makes sense and is in no way the nightmarish scheme of a deranged sociopath who has now wrecked not one but two lives.And what he couldn't give me, oh, noWas the one little thing that you can"A HUMAN LIFE! A REAL SENTIENT HUMAN LIFE THAT IS NOT INCIDENTAL TO ALL OF THIS!The best you can say about that is that it's not technically illegal, and that leather-jacket man probably should have been responsible for his own birth control. Or, at the very least, asked more questions .But ... it's not cute. It's not romantic (even the Wilson sisters themselves agree).And at the end of the day, the shadiest character in this song is somehow not the rain-soaked hitchhiker wandering to nowhere in the night.Which... is saying something.But there is a love song that is truly, madly, deeply perfect. An unassailable track in a sea of problematic faves.A song that does everything right.A song that paints a portrait of a healthy partnership built to last.A song that can double as a manual for the ideal human romantic relationship.And that song is..."Candy Shop," by 50 Cent, featuring OliviaHere's why you might be — OK, almost definitely are — skeptical:As catchy as "Candy Shop" is, as fun it is to dance to, and as cathartic as it can be to scream in the middle of a crowded fraternity house at 2 a.m., there's no getting around the fact that the song begins like this:I'll take you to the candy shopI'll let you lick the lollipopI'll post that again, in case you missed some of the nuance:I'll take you to the candy shopI'll let you lick the lollipopWay to take one for the team, narrator of "Candy Shop"!At first glance, "Candy Shop" is nobody's idea of a classic love song.The lyrics are ... unusually forward. The beat is kinda basic. The hook is like the music they play when Abu Nazir sidles scarily by in "Homeland."It doesn't get played much anymore. When it does resurface, it feels ... kinda dated. Like watching that DVD of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" on your new Xbox 360.It's not a song you'd put on a mixtape for your crush. It's not a song you'd play for your spouse when the kids are at home with the babysitter and you've got nine hours to tear up the Piscataway Hampton Inn. It's certainly not a song you'd include on the video photo montage you made for your grandparents' silver anniversary.It's just not.But it should be.So here it is. Here's why "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent, featuring Olivia, is actually the perfect relationship song:The bass drum hits. The MIDI violins whine. The singer starts filling out his fellatio permission slip. It's only been 20 seconds, and you're already getting ready to hang it up with "Candy Shop."But then ... over the square thrum and the mewling strings, a miracle occurs — in the form of a female voice joining the track, cutting through the din like a clarion call.She sings:I'll take you to the candy shop (yeah)Boy, one taste of what I got (uh-huh)I'll have you spendin' all you got (come on)Keep going 'til you hit the spot, whoaIt's mutual! It's mutual! They're performing oral sex on each other!Ring the bells! Bang the drums! Release the doves!Go, cunnilingus doves, go!50 Cent himself may not be the world's greatest partner — for example, according to one of his exes, he's done some pretty unforgivable things.But the narrator of "Candy Shop"? He gets it:You could have it your way, how do you want it?Rather than simply imposing his desires on the person he's with — a la the dude in "God Only Knows ("I'm going to invest my entire sense of self-worth in you!") or the street heckler in "Treasure" ("I'm going to treat you like a chest full of gold doubloons!") or the sociopath in "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You," ("I'm going to trick you into knocking me up!") — the "Candy Shop" guy actually asks his partner what she wants.Which, in the world of popular music, is good for about 50,000 trillion points.And where are they going to do it? The hotel? Back of the rental? The beach? The park?It's whatever you're into'Cause consent is sexy!I ain't finished teaching you 'bout how sprung I got yaThe narrator of "Candy Shop" is certainly ... assertive about his desires.But here's the key thing: the lady on the receiving end of those desires? She's clearly into it. And we know this because she says so.The lines of consent in "Candy Shop" are bright red, highlighted, and soldered into the weirdly sticky club floor.Meanwhile, Robin Thicke is outside trying to convince the bouncer that his uncle is a lawyer.Girl what we do ...And where we do ...The things we do ...Are just between me and youNo matter how nasty they freak, it will be intimate. It will be private. There will be no revenge porn (the epilogue to "Blurred Lines," to wit, would definitely be a protracted, emotionally devastating lawsuit).If you be a nympho, I'll be a nymphoSexual compatibility is key to the survival of any relationship, whether years, weeks, or (very possibly in the case of "Candy Shop") minutes long.She may have a high sex drive, but dude is graciously offering to accommodate her. What a gentleman! These crazy kids just might go the distance after all.And at the end of the day, what is a relationship but two nymphos, sharing health insurance?It's like it's a race who could get undressed quickerAgain, everybody is having a great time. And, critically, an equally great time.I touch the right spot at the right timeOf course, it wouldn't be a pop/hip-hop hit without a spot of random braggadocio, but if we're to take him at his word, "Candy Shop" guy is at least as good at "doing everything right" as the anonymous hitchhiker from "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You" — except without all the creepy surprise baby nonsense.The "Candy Shop" guy is a keeper. Because he's not a hero or a stranger in the night or a funky, shimmering love god. He's a good partner."Candy Shop" is raunchy. It's dirty. It's not your grandmother's love song.But when you strip away the swagger, the back beat, and the weird strings from "Best of Public Domain Middle Eastern Music 1993," by the end of the song, both people are satisfied. And at the end of the day, isn't that what a healthy relationship is all about?Yeah.Uh-huh.So seductive.This article originally appeared on 12.21.22

In preparation for an upcoming neo-Nazi march in the small Bavarian town of Wunsiedel, local residents decided to fight back in a hilariously perfect way: by sponsoring each of the 250 fascist participants.According to Heeb Magazine, "For every metre they walked, €10 went to a programme called EXIT Deutschland, which helps people escape extremist groups."The anti-semitic walkers didn't figure out the town's scheme until they had already started their march, and by that time, it was too late to turn back. The end result? The neo-Nazis raised more than $12,000 to fund programs to put an end to neo-Nazis.Watch the YouTube video below:This article originally appeared on 11.25.17

When parents choose their baby’s name, they are (hopefully) putting a lot of thought into their decision—weighing out all the pros and cons of how that name would theoretically serve them throughout their entire life. Rather than, say, basing their pick off of a viral TikTok trend. But hey, to each their own.Still, even the most meticulous parent has a chance of feeling baby name regret. In fact, a recent survey from Baby Center found that nearly 1 in 10 wish they’d chosen a different name for their child. While every situation is different, there are some reasons why parents might begin to second guess. Negative Feedback15% of the 450 moms surveyed said their baby’s name was critiqued or mocked. "I named my son Kyan (rhymes with Ryan), but every time I introduce him, most people say, 'Like cayenne pepper?'" one mom shared. An “easier” name was just, well, easier.Another 11% reported choosing culturally-specific names they genuinely love, but ultimately used an English name in everyday life. No doubt some have had to deal with some folks refusing to pronounce those culturally specific names. It simply doesn't fit their child’s personalityTen percent of moms noted that the original name they picked just didn’t seem to gel with the little human they brought into the world. One mom shared that she tried using her original name of “MJ” for her son for “several months,” but eventually started calling him Maverick Dean, Dean being his dad’s middle name, which fit him much better. 20% of parents felt their baby name choice was “too common.”Photo credit: CanvaAnother survey from the UK, created by Mumsnet in 2020, showed that 20% of parents regretted their baby name choice because it was “too common.” While another 20% reported never liking the name, but merely caving in to pressure. The good news: if there is to be baby name regret, it tends to show up within a month of giving birth to the first birthday. So if you’ve made it that far without any doubts, you’re pretty much in the clear. Clever WorkaroundsOf course, while legally changing a kid’s name is always an option, it is a lengthy one. Which is probably why only 1 in 20 moms reported actually doing it. Instead, many moms (20%) opt for a nickname. Middle names are also a frequent alternative, with 15% of moms saying they prefer their child's middle name. Expert Tips For Choosing a Baby NameWhile baby name regret can’t always be avoided, experts do have some tips for avoiding it. Professional baby name consultant Taylor Humphrey suggests on the “Tamron Hall Show” that parents make a categorized list of “Names I Love,” and “Names I Hate.”Hall says that parents rarely take the time to do this simple task, which can really help make those preferences easy to see. On that note, Laura Wattenberg, founder of Namerology and author of “The Baby Name Wizard,” told Today.com that parents could take their list one step further by focusing on (and presumably, writing down) what they love about each name. That alone can reveal a lot about why a name should be a winner. Sherri Suzanne, founder of My Name for Life, also told Today.com that parents should practice saying the potential name outloud, going so far as to practice introductions, “This is our son ___” or “This is our daughter_____,” and seeing how that feels. It’s worth noting that while baby name regret is a possibility, it’s still not common. So odds are, you and your little one will be perfectly happy with whatever name choice you come up with. Especially if you do your homework!

One of the big concerns about American football is head-to-head contact. Even though the players are wearing helmets, slamming into another players helmet or being thrown to the ground during a play can cause significant trauma to the brain. While the NFL has banned helmet-to-helmet contact out of safety concerns, it can still happen and nothing can stop a player's head from contacting the hard astroturf or grass covered field. Hits to the head whether it's from another helmet or from being tackled can cause concussions which not only inhibit the player from continuing in the game but can cause the player to develop a condition called Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE). According to Indiana University School of Medicine, "CTE is a progressive degenerative disease affecting people who have suffered repeated concussions and traumatic brain injuries, that may occur in some athletes and others who have been exposed to concussions and repetitive head impacts." That's where the "Guardian Cap" comes in. The padded cap slips over the hard shell of a football helmet to add additional padding to the players head in hopes to reduce traumatic brain events caused by contact during football. More high schools have been interested in using the caps after the tragic deaths of students who sustained head injuries while playing football. The caps have made their way to the NFL as optional use but Colts tight end Kylen Granson is determined to set a good example for his peers, youth and his future children. The tight end took to social media to explain why he still planned to wear his Guardian Cap during the regular season though the NFL made it optional."This is a Guardian Cap. All it is, is essentially a little extra padding on the exterior of the helmet. This was something that was first introduced last year and most of the offensive line, defensive line were mandated to wear it during practice," Granson explains before adding that other positions had the option to keep wearing it. File:Colts vs Patriots 2011 01.jpg - Wikimedia Commons commons.wikimedia.org The professional football player says it was essentially an experiment to see if the caps actually reduced concussion rates, finding that it reduced the rates significantly. Since the reduction in concussion incidents was so steep, the players were mandated to wear them during training camp with the option to wear them during the preseason games, which Granson and a few others did. After the success of the reduction in concussions during training camp and preseason, the NFL gave players the option to wear them during regular season according to the tight end. Super Bowl Football GIF by DraftKings Giphy "For me it was a no brainer. I just said, 'yes I want to wear it the whole season.' I've never really had a problem with the Guardian Caps, they don't really limit vision. They don't add any extra weight that's noticeable. Why would I not add a safety measure onto my helmet," Granson asks. He further explains that any thing that adds safety for him as the player, especially when it comes to mitigating long term effects takes precedent for him. Granson shares that he also believes "that it's part of my duty to advocate for my own health and safety and try to encourage others to also make the choice to continue wearing these. There's no amount of aesthetic that can outweigh what a TBI (traumatic brain injury) could do to you." Football: Falcons end season on a sour note with 38-21 loss to BYU ... www.af.mil While the player goes on to explain the small hits add up, comparing the human brain to "a jello inside of your head," he's also taking this safety measure to be an example to younger players and his future children. "As someone who wants to have kids someday, I want them to also know, hey dad isn't just telling you to be safe, he also is safe when he played. He did everything that he could to protect his head, to protect his brain, to protect his longterm health. I want to inspire kids to think that health and safety is also cool. You can do cool things out on the football field and still wear a Guardian Cap," Granson expresses that it goes beyond the football field to include children wearing bicycle helmets. "There would be no amount of cool that would be worth walking into a hospital room and your child is in a vegetative state because they weren't wearing a helmet. Because they didn't look dumb." File:Hassan Hall (53141821467) (cropped).jpg - Wikimedia Commons commons.wikimedia.org The heartfelt, well thought out message was well received with commenters praising Granson for continuing to wear the Guardian Cap and speaking about his reasonings online. Fans and professionals alike came to support the player in his comments. "As a fan, if it keeps your team's star player on the field instead of on concussion protocol why wouldn't you want them wearing it," one person questions."As a speech therapist who has worked with traumatic brain injuries, I was happy to see the guardian caps! Thanks for speaking on this," another writes. @thekcg83 You’re not soft for wearing one the hits are just as hard you’re just minimizing the repercussions of those hits. ##nfl##nflfootball##nfltok##nflnews##nfltiktok##sportsnews##guardiancap##guardiancaps##colts##coltstarting##coltsfootball##coltsnation##coltsoftiktok ♬ Last Hope (Over Slowed + Reverb) - Steve Ralph "Fans will come around. Everyone hated the the F1 Halo until it started literally saving lives and now we're all down. We fans can be a little slow but we'll get there," a different commenter reminds others."I want you to remember that you helped put a new practice into place without stigma to help other players be safer and do what they love longer," one woman shares while another commenter says, "I'm a TBI researcher. Thank you for advocating for things like this that will increase player safety." It may take a little longer for the entire league to either opt to wear them or be mandated to wear the caps, but Granson is making the argument simple. Wear the Guardian Cap–increases safety.

Should students be allowed to have cell phones with them in class? This question has been plaguing schools, teachers, parents and students for the past 15 years, with little consensus. It's as if we've been conducting an experiment of sorts with kids and teens, as smartphones can be both powerful tools and problematic distractions.There are arguments to be made on both sides, one argument in favor of letting students have their phones in class is particularly compelling. It's also particularly disturbing. What if a school shooting happens?It's a ridiculous question that parents and students have to ask—not because it's not possible, but because it is possible. We all know it can happen because we've watched mass shootings play out in American classrooms, hallways, libraries and cafeterias over and over and over. Kids in this country know exactly what to do if a person with a gun opens fire in their school. And yet all those active shooter drills and all the thoughts and prayers after each shooting hasn't prevented it from happening again. — (@) Do other countries ban cell phones in classrooms?Other countries have had to have the cell-phones-in-class conversation, but other countries don't have "What about our regularly scheduled school shootings?" as a legitimate argument in that conversation. Parents in the U.K., Italy, Japan—they don't ask "What if a school shooting happens?" because they're too rare to even consider. Here's an eye-opening statistic: From January 1, 2009 to May 21, 2018, the U.S. had 288 school shootings where at least one person, not including the shooter, was shot on school grounds. During that same time frame, the other G7 countries (Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan and the U.K.) had five school shootings. Not five each—five total between all six countries. And since 2018, we've kept right on going. We've already had 45 school shootings in 2024 alone. Most shootings in schools don't make national news—just the "mass" shootings, which happen way too often. When the citizens of a country can easily rattle off school shootings like they're listing football teams—Columbine, Sandy Hook, Parkland, Uvalde, Virginia Tech—we have to admit we have a problem. — (@) And that problem influences our lives in more ways than we realize. A seemingly straightforward question—"Should kids have cell phones in class?"—is absurdly complicated by the reality of gun violence in America. In a reasonable world, the answer would be "No, of course they shouldn't have cell phones in class." England, France, Netherlands, Finland, Sweden, China, Australia, Greece, Russia, Ghana, Uganda and other nations have established prohibitions against cell phones in classrooms, with Sweden even banning them during breaks between classes. It definitely can be done. School is the one place where they're supervised and surrounded by peers, so there's really no need for students to have a phone on them during school hours. Generations of people survived entire childhoods and teenhoods without carrying a phone, and even if they need it to coordinate rides after school or whatever, it's not a necessity during class. Unless, of course, there's an emergency. One that's immediate and life-threatening, but doesn't allow them to evacuate. One that traps kids inside their classrooms with just enough time to text their parents while waiting to see if they and their classmates are going to be killed or have to watch one another die. In most places, that kind of an emergency would be so unlikely it wouldn't even be considered as part of the conversation. In the U.S. it's a real possibility that must be taken into account. — (@) What are the chances of experiencing a school shooting? The chances that a child will be killed in a school shooting is statistically pretty small, even with the number of shootings we have. And yet, it's astronomically higher in the U.S. compared to other countries. And that risk has risen dramatically over time, with the American College of Surgeons reporting that school shootings have quadrupled since 1970. The most damning statistic when it comes to kids and guns is that gun violence has been the leading cause of death for children ages 1 to 18 in the U.S. since 2020. More children and teens are killed by guns than by any illness or accident in this country. Johns Hopkins calls gun violence a public health epidemic, and the U.S. surgeon general has declared it an "urgent public health crisis." And it's not getting better. Those statistics are only talking about deaths, though. Gun violence entails more than just the people being shot to death. What about life-altering injuries that result from gun violence? What about the lifelong impact of witnessing your friends, classmates and teachers being shot? For every kid killed by a firearm there are many more who are seeing and experiencing it and having to live with that trauma. — (@) Students know this. Parents know this. That's why so many are hesitant to have kids store their cell phones during class time. There are solutions that would keep call phones nearby but not allow them to be a distraction in class, but that doesn't change the fact that we have to talk about guns when we're talking about student cell phone use—nor does it change how ridiculous it is that guns are any part of that equation. Cell phones in classrooms are a real problem, but when compared to a gunman shooting up your kid's classroom, that problem seems trivial and unimportant. We're losing the ability to solve problems on so many levels because we refuse to treat a crisis like a crisis. The answer to "What if a school shooting happens?" in response to "Should students have cell phones in class?" can't be, "Eh, don't worry about it." American families already are worried about it. We can't address the cell phones in class issue without also addressing the gun violence crisis issue, because for students in U.S. schools, the two are intertwined whether we like it or not.

The first time I sat down to write a fictional story (about 13 years ago), I wrote a screenplay jam-packed with stuff a 20-something year old guy thought was cool.There was a bank heist gone wrong. Guns. Bad guys. Car chases. Explosions!Since then I've become a father to two amazing girls, and for a long time my writing career was put on the backburner.(Turns out, you suddenly have a lot less free time as a parent.)But in early 2021, after many long months of COVID lockdown, I wanted to try writing something straight from the heart, something that better reflected who I am now — nostalgic, sentimental, both excited for and terrified of watching my girls grow up — and I wanted to try it as a novel.So I came up with the idea of a bunch of dads trying (and hilariously struggling) to connect with their daughters at a weeklong summer camp retreat.There was just one problem. 'Heartfelt novels by and about dudes' wasn't exactly a thriving literary genre.There are plenty of books written by and mostly for men, of course. But those are usually confined to genres like military or historical fiction, or SciFi. Basically, anything with weapons and/or spaceships and possibly murder.Men also read somewhat prominently in biography and memoir.But books about family and relationships and (gasp) love from a male perspective? That seemed to be fairly uncharted territory.So where did that leave me and my idea to write a book that was funny and heartwarming and all about fatherhood?I wasn't sure. But I knew the story I wanted to tell and I knew that I wanted to take great TV dads like Bandit from Bluey, Phil Dunphy from Modern Family, Carl Winslow from Family Matters, Alan Matthews from Boy Meets World and so many others — and see them represented on the page.So I wrote the book anyway. Holding an early draft of the manuscript in 2022Evan PorterAs I went along, I kept searching for more books like what I hoped to write. Generally, they were few and far between, but I was eventually heartened to find that they did exist. Authors like Jonathan Tropper, Nick Hornby, Matthew Norman, and Richard Roper were doing amazing things in male-centered fiction that didn't involve guns and aliens, but rather focused on emotion and relationships and even romance.Still, even with those guys blazing the trail, that didn't make things any easier when I started pitching my finished novel, Dad Camp, to literary agents.A lot of them told me they just weren't sure what the market was for a book like mine. Who's going to read this? It seemed unfathomable that actual dads would read it, so surely it had to have crossover appeal to the childrens market, or it needed a strong romance element to draw in female readers.Many even liked the story a lot but just didn't know how to pitch it to publishers.It's easy to see why my book, Dad Camp, was a hard sell. Men just don't read in large enough numbers.You can hardly go anywhere on the Internet without running into the "why don't men read" discourse.That's because the facts are inescapable:Around 80% of book sales come from women. Every study and survey and data set you can find shows that boys read less than girls starting in childhood and the gap only gets worse and worse as they get older.Why don't men read more? Well, there are a lot of theories.A lot of men report finding reading fiction to be a waste of time, that they have to be productive with their 'downtime' instead — which would explain why men are actually big readers of non-fiction, which is deemed more useful.(Weirdly, that mindset doesn't seem to stop men from watching movies or television or spending tons of time gaming.)Other theories say that men's brains just aren't wired as well for inhabiting the mind of different characters and empathizing with them.And then there is the self-fulfilling prophecy of it all. Since men don't read, boys don't have as many good reading role models, and the cycle continues on and on.The proven benefits of reading for menUs dudes with our "linear thinking brains" like hard data, right? Well it's difficult to argue with the science behind reading fiction. It's extremely clear cut.When you read fiction, you exercise your brain's Theory of Mind, or its ability to understand that other people are thinking and feelings and experiencing different things than you are.People who read fiction frequently display more creativity, more empathy for others, and more skill in social relationships.I'd like to see a non-fiction or self-help book that can achieve that.And get this, some data even shows that readers live longer than non-readers!So instead of spending a fortune on reducing your biological age and doing things like having young people's blood injected into your veins, just try picking up a $17.99 paperback novel.In the end, I was lucky enough to find an agent and publisher that believed in Dad Camp as much as I did. Seeing Dad Camp on shelves at the bookstore for the first time was a pretty special feelingEvan PorterAnd I'm really excited that it's out there in the world finding its audience of, not just dads, but moms and daughters and anyone who knows or loves a dad.One last point from my research that really stood out was that men are apparently extremely reluctant to pick up books from female authors — a perspective, you could argue, we desperately need!I'd like to hope that, one day, my book could be something of a bridge, and show more men that it's actually good and fun to read about relationships and family and romance.Once you cross that bridge, there's a whole world of amazing books and storytellers waiting for you — and the positive impact those stories have on your brain and well-being will be well worth the effort.