While in many ways being part of the LGBTQ community is more acceptable than it used to be, members of the community are still marginalized and are sometimes treated poorly. Many people still experience negative consequences for coming out as anything other than a heterosexual cisgendered person. Due to these factors, it's not surprising that some people choose to hide their identity until they feel safe to reveal it. Recently an elderly Army veteran's obituary highlighted the difficulty of living with the fear of not being accepted. Col. Edward Thomas Ryan recently passed away in Albany, New York after having lived with a secret his entire life. The obituary for Col. Ryan starts off like any other obituary, reviewing who he is leaving behind, who passed before him and his life's accomplishments.The veteran was twice retired, once from the Army as a Colonel and again as a firefighter. He had many accomplishments that would make just about any family proud to be related to him, but Ryan requested his family tuck in a note from him to share with the world. He was gay. Not only was he gay but he was in a relationship for 25 years. All of this was kept a secret as he did not want to be outcast by the people he loved the most so he held who he truly was close to his heart until after his death. Col. Ryan's family printed his confession in his obituary which appears to be his last wish.The personal note reads, "I must tell you one more thing. I was Gay all my life: thru grade school, thru High School, thru College, thru Life. I was in a loving and caring relationship with Paul Cavagnaro of North Greenbush. He was the love of my life. We had 25 great years together. Paul died in 1994 from a medical Procedure gone wrong. I'll be buried next to Paul. I'm sorry for not having the courage to come out as Gay. I was afraid of being ostracized: by Family, Friends, and Co-Workers. Seeing how people like me were treated, I just could not do it. Now that my secret is known, I'll forever Rest in Peace."Though Col. Ryan was able witness the public perception shifting about LGBTQ people, he likely still lived with the scars of past treatment of queer people. In 1973, homosexuality was pathologized by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) as a mental illness or sickness. It wasn't until 1997 that the adopted a resolution discouraging coercive measures a resolution discouraging coercive measures to change someone's sexual orientation. Progress has been slow going. The APA just recognized that being transgender wasn't a mental health disorder in 2013, and America didn't recognize same sex marriage until 2015.Col. Ryan's fears were not unfounded. Jim Kisthardt, only came out just a few years ago at the age of 73 after his wife of 51 years died. He tells ABC7, "Times were very different. Being gay would be a curse. Being gay was one of the worst things you could bring to your family, worse than divorce."Kisthardt explains to the station that coming out when his parents were alive wasn't an option because he thought it would've killed them, revealing that in the 50s and 60s gay people were ostracized and had to move away. While progress for LGBTQ rights may be moving slowly, they're still moving and though Col. Ryan didn't get to live fully as himself, at least he is now resting in peace. It's fitting that he was able to have his final wish granted during pride month.

A software engineer who used to work at Taco Bell has prompted a debate over “skilled” and “unskilled” or “low-skill” jobs and how much value we place on workers based on those labels. A post on Reddit shows a screenshot that reads:“Idk man I’ve worked at Taco Bell and as a software engineer and the job that takes way more skill is not the one u would expect lol. Making a quesarito during lunch rush is 10x harder than writing any sort of algorithm. Service jobs are not ‘low skill’ bro lmfao.”Others who have also worked service jobs weighed in with their thoughts and experiences, with some agreeing with the tweet and some vehemently disagreeing.Some said "low-skill" doesn't mean easy, just not something that takes long to learn. — (@) “Low skill doesn't mean easy. It just means that it doesn't take long to train. Low skill jobs are usually hard AF, because a lot of people can do them, often it's physical and the profit margins can be low. So, people get exploited. High skill jobs can be very easy. If the profit margins are high, the job is mostly mental, and there aren't that many people that can do it then you get treated better. A doctor at the end of their career is generally not stressing themselves out taking patient appointments.” – davidellis23“Yes, they are low skill. I was trained to be a waiter in 3 days, and there wasn't much difference between myself and waiters with 10 yrs experience.I studied 4 yrs for a CS degree, have been working and learning for for awhile as a dev, and I still don't know sh*t about sh*t.” – -Sonmi451-“The spirit of what this guy is saying is right, he’s just using the wrong words. IT jobs are way more skilled than service work. But service jobs are far and away much more difficult than IT jobs to actually do day in and day out. Service work is emotionally draining and soul crushing IT jobs test knowledge, service jobs test will.” –In some ways, it’s an issue of semantics, and the actual definition of “skill” doesn’t make the discussion much clearer. Merriam-Webster defines "skill" as “the ability to use one’s knowledge effectively and readily in execution of performance,” "dexterity or coordination especially in the execution of learned physical tasks” and “a learned power of doing something competently: a developed aptitude or ability.” While it’s true that the training involved in jobs like food service is not nearly as long or involved as becoming a computer programmer, calling that work “unskilled” or “low-skill” doesn't really go along with the definitions of the word. It can also seem to devalue the skills necessary to be good at various kinds of jobs. Is multitasking not a skill? Is anticipating needs not a skill? Is handling difficult customers not a skill? Is problem-solving on the fly in a fast-paced environment not a skill?“Food service in the kitchen especially is ALL about multitasking, efficiency, and pivoting. I got four orders coming up, what can I prep now so it's ready with the rest of the next two customer's food? Ope now there's five. Customer says they had a large fry but cashier didn't ring it up or they didn't order it, gotta put more fries down either way.Any mistakes or poor choices moment to moment mean everything gets slowed down. It's much less like one task and more like 20 where in most cases you have to do things out of order because stuff takes time to cook but you don't want food to get cold.” – Hawkatom — (@) Some suggested using alternate terms that feel more accurate, such as "credentialed" or "specially trained." "I prefer 'credentialed' or not. Whether or not you need a certificate before your on the job training is an orthogonal concept from how much job specific training or skill is required." – Bakkster"In economics 'skilled labor' means jobs that require training/apprenticeships this it's doctors, plumbers, lawyers, masons et al.Unskilled labor does NOT mean that the job requires no skill only that you don't need certification or training to claim the title." – No-Appearance-9113Much of the discussion boils down to the fact that we place more value on certain skills than on others and pay accordingly, despite the fact that we rely on the people who do those difficult "unskilled" or "low-skill" jobs all the time (while there are plenty of highly skilled jobs that only benefit a small portion of the population). We need all kinds of workers, of course. We just need to be mindful of not judging some jobs as less challenging, less important or less valuable simply because they are labeled as "low-skill."

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