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Father of two daughters explains why he wakes up early before his wife every morning
Chris and Bre Giglio run a popular parenting TikTok with nearly 200,000 followers. Some of their most popular posts have been about what Chris calls his "mornings with the girls." "Nearly every morning for over 3 years I've gotten up with our girls so Bre can get the sleep deserves after she gave so much to grow our little family," he captioned one such video. It shows him up at the crack of dawn cleaning up the kitchen, folding laundry, and making his daughters breakfast.But Chris noticed a peculiar response he'd often get when he posted about his morning routine. While people were mostly excited to see a dad taking good care of the girls in his life, others took the opportunity to ask prying questions about Bre. "Does she ever let you sleep in? Just wondering if you ever have 'you' days?" one user asked relatively politely. Others commenters aren't so kind, asking essentially, if Bre doesn't get up with the kids, what does she even do?Chris took a moment to respond to the questions in a recent video, and the response perfectly encapsulates what a partnership should look like."I've gotten up with my daughters every morning since they were born because that's what has worked best for us. But for some reason if I share about that for long enough, someone's going to ask a variation of the question, but what does she do for you?" he says."... that question also gets me feeling like we can sometimes forget what marriage is all about."He goes on to talk about how he's a morning person who loves getting up on the early side. Since he sometimes has to work late, he looks forward to having that guaranteed time with the kids. His wife, on the other hand, is a night owl and does her best work in the evening — so it just wouldn't make sense for them to flip-flop just because of "fairness.""I do these things because I love her and I wanna make her life better, not because I'm looking to stack up a tower of I-owe-you chips."Watch the rest of Chris' excellent response in the TikTok here:
@chrisandbre.g
Replying to @Magen Bostwick there’s no scorecard in marriage, which is also why @Bre Giglio and I can both be winners #marriage #married #marriagetok #marriedtiktok #marriagegoals
In the caption of the post, Chris wrote: "There's no scorecard in marriage, which is why Bre and I can both be winners."Chris and Bre have figured out an incredibly important concept when it comes to making a marriage last: Equality and equity are not the same thing.Equality refers to when people are treated exactly the same regardless of needs, preferences, resources, etc. Equity is a concept that means everyone gets what they need to reach an equal outcome.Trying to enact perfect equality in a marriage as parents can create a mess. Making sure each partner has an equal number of early wakeups every week, takes turns folding the laundry, contributes identically to the cooking and dishes and meal plan. It's impossible to get right, unsustainable, and inevitably leads to arguments when the score isn't perfectly settled.Equity looks like Chris' videos. He takes the early shift with the kids because he doesn't mind doing it and is better suited to the mornings. That's his thing, and it frees his wife up to contribute to the household in a way that suits her own strengths. As long as both partners are pulling their weight, that's how it ought to be done.The response to Chris' morning videos also raise another issue: Few people would ever accuse a dad of being lazy if his wife was excited to let him sleep in while she cooked breakfast. The double standard is outrageous and it doesn't do anyone any favors. It should be super normal to see a dad picking up a big chunk of the load at home, not a rarity.Fortunately, most of Chris and Bre's followers are totally on board with their approach:"marriage isn’t about keeping score. when both ppl give 100% to each other, no one feels like they’re slipping through the cracks ❤️it’s honestly the best," one commenter wrote."True love is splitting the chores fairly but not 50/50. My wife does most of the laundry, i hate it and she doesn't mind meanwhile I cook most of the time because she hates it and I like it. It works because it works for you both," said another."100% and if it was the other way around no one would ask what she does for you ?" added another.We love seeing a dad go out of his way to spend extra time with his kids rather than treat is as an obligation. As a night owl myself, it makes me want to crank that alarm back a few hours and pop out of bed to whip up pancakes before my kids are up — well, almost.