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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
40 w

BREAKING: Lizzo threatens to eat anyone who doesn’t vote for Kamala Harris
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genesiustimes.com

BREAKING: Lizzo threatens to eat anyone who doesn’t vote for Kamala Harris

In an unexpected political move, Grammy-winning artist Lizzo announced that she will personally consume anyone who does not cast their vote for Kamala Harris in the upcoming election. The pop star delivered this ultimatum at a press conference, while simultaneously enjoying what she referred to as a “light snack” – a tower of pancakes layered with fried chicken and whipped cream. “I’m tired of playing nice!” Lizzo exclaimed between bites. “If you’re not with Kamala, you’re on the menu. Plain and simple.” The threat has sent shockwaves across both the political and culinary communities, with analysts scrambling to determine the legal implications of celebrity cannibalism. “We’re in uncharted territory,” said one legal expert. “I think this technically qualifies as both voter suppression and a new diet trend.” Kamala Harris was quick to express her gratitude. “We need champions like Lizzo who understand what’s really at stake,” the Vice President said in a statement, adding, “And by ‘stake,’ I mean people, apparently.” Some voters have expressed genuine fear. “She’s serious, isn’t she?” asked Tim Jenkins, a self-described undecided voter from Ohio. “This is the most motivation I’ve had to vote in years. I just don’t want to be on Lizzo’s plate.” Lizzo has already begun promoting a new line of politically themed merchandise, including a bib with the slogan “Democracy Tastes Better with Hot Sauce” and an apron that reads “Don’t Make Me Hungry, Make Me Proud.” Meanwhile, opponents of Harris’s campaign have urged Americans to “stay strong and marinate themselves defensively” in case Lizzo follows through on her threat. Harris’s campaign advisers have neither confirmed nor denied whether Lizzo will accompany the VP on the campaign trail or merely lurk in restaurant kitchens nationwide. The post BREAKING: Lizzo threatens to eat anyone who doesn’t vote for Kamala Harris appeared first on Genesius Times.
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
40 w

9 Bad Things In Your Life That Are Probably The Jews' Fault
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babylonbee.com

9 Bad Things In Your Life That Are Probably The Jews' Fault

If you listen to some people, the Jews are behind everything that goes on in the world. But does that theory hold up under scrutiny? You'd be surprised.
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Science Explorer
Science Explorer
40 w

Watch bioluminescent algal blooms trigger electric-blue waves off San Diego coast in stunning new footage
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www.livescience.com

Watch bioluminescent algal blooms trigger electric-blue waves off San Diego coast in stunning new footage

Mesmerizing footage from a new PBS Nature show captures the bioluminescent beauty of brilliant blue waves crashing along San Diego's coast.
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Science Explorer
Science Explorer
40 w

How do people die of the flu?
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www.livescience.com

How do people die of the flu?

Severe flu infections can lead to a range of deadly complications, especially in people whose immune systems are compromised by age or disease.
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Nostalgia Machine
Nostalgia Machine
40 w

Ozzy Osbourne Addresses The Shooting Of His Former Guitarist
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doyouremember.com

Ozzy Osbourne Addresses The Shooting Of His Former Guitarist

Ozzy Osbourne broke his silence on the shooting of his former guitarist Jake E. Lee, who got shot multiple times recently. The 67-year-old was out walking his dog in Las Vegas when he got assailed by the shooter, who is yet to be arrested. Ozzy admitted it has been nearly four decades since he last saw Jake; however, the news was not any less shocking. He termed the incident as “another senseless act of gun violence,” which has been rampant in the United States in the last few years. Ozzy Osbourne hopes Jake E. Lee recovers soon Ozzy Osbourne and Jake E. Lee / Instagram Ozzy sent his heartfelt thoughts to Jake’s daughter, Jade, while the injured instrumentalist recovers in the ICU. Other public figures like SiriusXM’s Mark Strigl, David Maida, and Night Ranger guitarist Brad Gillis also sent their wishes to Jake via social media. “Love and prayers to my homie Jake E. Lee—get well soon brother. You got this!” Matt Gibson posted. Fans also responded to the news on X while calling on Ozzy to save his old friend’s life. “Please step up and do whatever you can for Jake. It’s not too late and you can save his life. Just like he saved your career dude,” someone replied. Jake E. Lee / Instagram Ozzy Osbourne’s relationship with his guitarist Jake replaced Randy Rhoads in 1982 after he died in an aircraft crash. He toured with Ozzy and worked with him on the 1983 album Bark at the Moon, The Ultimate Sin, and singles like “Shot In The Dark” and “Killer of Giants.” Ozzy Osbourne / Everett Jake later got fired from the group after an altercation with Ozzy’s wife, Sharon Osbourne, over songwriting credits and internal feuds. Ozzy admitted that his drummer, Randy Castillo, also influenced his decision at the time, although he holds no grudge against the lead guitarist. Next up: Fans Accuse Cher Of Too Much Plastic Surgery After Her VS Show Appearance The post Ozzy Osbourne Addresses The Shooting Of His Former Guitarist appeared first on DoYouRemember? - The Home of Nostalgia. Author, Peace A
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Nostalgia Machine
Nostalgia Machine
40 w

Michael Douglas Is Concerned About Kathleen Turner As Her Health Worsens
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doyouremember.com

Michael Douglas Is Concerned About Kathleen Turner As Her Health Worsens

Kathleen Turner is struggling with rheumatoid arthritis, and her friend Michael Douglas is reportedly doing what he can to help. An insider revealed that Douglas offers support through encouragement and kind gestures such as lending her his car and chauffeur and getting her gigs. The source added that Kathleen has grown more somber as the illness worsens, making her need a cane or wheelchair to move. Last month, she was spotted in downtown Manhattan, New York, and fans raised their concerns over how thin she appeared.  Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner’s iconic friendship Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner / Instagram Douglas and Kathleen worked together in the past on Romancing the Stone and its sequel, The Jewel of the Nile, and from there, became long-lasting friends despite their constant disagreement on set. Proving his care for an old sport, Douglas now spends time in New York to be close to Kathleen. The former co-stars share an incredible chemistry, although platonic, and their relationship has grown stronger since Kathleen’s diagnosis. Kathleen is thankful for Douglas’ presence and is said to enjoy how he never makes her feel sick when he visits. Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner / Everett Michael Douglas looks out for Kathleen Turner amid his worries Although Douglas has been playing the caretaker role in Kathleen’s life, he is currently battling challenges of his own. An insider revealed that the 80-year-old is scared to fall ill again after his unforgettable experience with stage four tongue cancer. Michael Douglas / Imagecollect Douglas became cancer-free in 2011 and has since been watchful of his lifestyle, diet, and health in general. He no longer indulges in caffeine, alcohol, or snacks and prefers to keep his diet gluten-free. The legendary actor has also cut back on sugar and visits the hospital frequently for check-ins. Next up: Ozzy Osbourne Addresses The Shooting Of His Former Guitarist The post Michael Douglas Is Concerned About Kathleen Turner As Her Health Worsens appeared first on DoYouRemember? - The Home of Nostalgia. Author, Peace A
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YubNub News
YubNub News
40 w

Volleyball team risks forfeiting championship to stand for ‘future of women’s sports’
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yubnub.news

Volleyball team risks forfeiting championship to stand for ‘future of women’s sports’

The women of the University of Nevada at Reno volleyball team plan to defy their school by refusing to compete against a team with a biological male player. “We are risking our main goal, which is a…
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YubNub News
YubNub News
40 w

Scandal: FBI Under Biden-Harris Under-Reported Violent Crime
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yubnub.news

Scandal: FBI Under Biden-Harris Under-Reported Violent Crime

An embarrassing report at RealClear Investigations has revealed the FBI has had to “quietly” revise its violent crime report for 2022 upward. iStock-1481901203 An embarrassing bombshell report at…
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YubNub News
YubNub News
40 w

Here's CBS News Trying to Pin the Cost of Cleaning Up Biden & Harris' Open Border on Trump
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yubnub.news

Here's CBS News Trying to Pin the Cost of Cleaning Up Biden & Harris' Open Border on Trump

With the election approaching, CBS News has raised the propaganda bar higher than ever in order to give the Harris campaign and Democrats a boost. From multiple deceptively edited videos to continual…
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YubNub News
YubNub News
40 w

Democrats dig for new insults after their Trump ‘Hitler’ rhetoric fails to move masses
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yubnub.news

Democrats dig for new insults after their Trump ‘Hitler’ rhetoric fails to move masses

Democrats have been characterizing President Donald Trump as a “Hitler” for years already… at least as far back as 2015, before his first campaign for office. During his first term he confirmed…
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