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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
1 y

Victims of Hurricane Helene identifying as illegal immigrants so they can get some federal aid from the Biden-Harris administration
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genesiustimes.com

Victims of Hurricane Helene identifying as illegal immigrants so they can get some federal aid from the Biden-Harris administration

ASHVILLE, NC—Victims of Hurricane Helene in North Carolina have discovered a clever life hack: identifying as illegal immigrants in order to receive federal aid from the Biden-Harris administration. After days of watching billions pour into the coffers of migrant programs, these displaced citizens decided to get in on the action. Local resident Becky Johnson, standing beside her waterlogged home, was one of the first to make the switch. “I lost everything in the flood—my house, my car, my dog’s favorite chew toy—but FEMA said I didn’t qualify for anything beyond a pamphlet and a bottle of water,” Johnson sighed. “But then I heard about all the goodies being handed out to folks who just crossed the border. I thought, why not? I’m now Bequisha de la Rivera from ‘South Mexico,’ and suddenly I’m getting housing, a new iPhone, and a federal stipend!” The trend caught fire faster than a tropical storm spinning off the coast. Soon, social media was flooded with tips on how to blend in as a newly “arrived” immigrant. Popular suggestions included trading in your Southern accent for broken Spanish, arriving late to all appointments, and nodding thoughtfully when asked if you know how to scale a border wall. “I know it sounds crazy,” said Bill McDougal, who lost his tractor and most of his crop. “But after I saw they were handing out $450,000 settlements to families separated at the border, I figured I could be separated from my tractor, too.” White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, when asked about the influx of suddenly foreign-sounding hurricane victims, was dismissive. “It’s important that we don’t conflate natural disaster victims with those escaping true hardship—like having to find WiFi in migrant detention centers. As for North Carolina? Let them figure it out.” Meanwhile, experts warn that this new strategy could inspire a wave of “accidental migration” across other parts of the U.S., with citizens from hurricane-prone states brushing up on their Spanish to tap into the bottomless pit of migrant aid. In response, FEMA is reportedly considering a new aid category for “trans-migrants”—Americans who have spiritually and financially relocated across the southern border without leaving their hometowns. As Bequisha de la Rivera summed up the sentiment sweeping North Carolina: “If the Biden-Harris administration won’t acknowledge us as Americans, maybe we’ll just stop being Americans altogether.” The post Victims of Hurricane Helene identifying as illegal immigrants so they can get some federal aid from the Biden-Harris administration appeared first on Genesius Times.
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
1 y

To Save Time, NFL Announcers Will Now Only Mention When There's Not A Flag On The Play
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babylonbee.com

To Save Time, NFL Announcers Will Now Only Mention When There's Not A Flag On The Play

U.S. — In a move designed to save time and lessen the stress on broadcasters' voices during games, the NFL revealed that announcers will now only mention when there's not a flag on the play.
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Science Explorer
Science Explorer
1 y

32,000-year-old mummified woolly rhino half-eaten by predators unearthed in Siberia
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www.livescience.com

32,000-year-old mummified woolly rhino half-eaten by predators unearthed in Siberia

Researchers found the carcass in August 2020 in Russia's Sakha Republic, and the discovery has revealed a never-before-seen characteristic of woolly rhinos: a fatty hump on the animal's back.
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Nostalgia Machine
Nostalgia Machine
1 y

Elton John Teases Upcoming Documentary, Gives Insight To Private Struggles
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doyouremember.com

Elton John Teases Upcoming Documentary, Gives Insight To Private Struggles

Disney released the trailer for Elton John’s Elton John: Never Too Late documentary to begin the new week, and it was nothing short of powerful as it caught a glimpse of the star’s thoughts. The film, which will begin streaming on the platform in December, shows Elton’s life and health behind the scenes. The two-minute preview showed young Elton in his element and listed his achievements of 13 albums between 1970 and 1975, of which seven charted number one. However, some sad revelations were made by the iconic songwriter, who said his soul went dark, and he felt joyless at some point. ‘Never Too Late’ Never Too Late will premiere ahead of its streaming date in specific theaters in November, and Elton’s supporters cannot wait to get more insight into his life so far. He addressed his battle with drugs and mental health issues and how he bounced back from it all. He is also set to accompany the documentary with a new song featured in the film. The trailer description on Disney Plus’ YouTube channel noted that Elton will take viewers back in time to recount the highs and lows of his early years as he gears up for his final concert at Dodger Stadium. Directing credits go to R.J. Cutler and Elton’s husband, David Furnish, with whom he shares two sons. Elton John, with red, white and blue hair, circa late 1970s early 1980s / Everett Fans react to Elton John’s documentary teaser The YouTube trailer has gotten nearly 350,000 views so far and tens of comments from Elton fans. “This looks like it will be a great documentary on him (Elton),” someone said. Another person gushed about the fabulous visuals, saying they could not wait to see the full documentary. Elton John/ Everett Elton also received praise for his talent so far, despite justifiable reasons to retire. “A legend, the perseverance he has is unmatched. You’re still standing after all this time,” an inspired fan gushed, while someone else called him the most prolific and iconic artist of our time. “In a word, AMAZING!” they exclaimed. Next up: Mariska Hargitay Is All Legs In Bed As Fans Commend Resemblance To Jane Mansfield The post Elton John Teases Upcoming Documentary, Gives Insight To Private Struggles appeared first on DoYouRemember? - The Home of Nostalgia. Author, Peace A
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Nostalgia Machine
Nostalgia Machine
1 y

Longest-Living Former President Jimmy Carter Turns 100, Celebrates In Beloved Hometown
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doyouremember.com

Longest-Living Former President Jimmy Carter Turns 100, Celebrates In Beloved Hometown

Former President Jimmy Carter passed a major milestone this Tuesday when he turned 100 years old. The first president to ever live for a century, Carter is the oldest, longest-living former president, and celebrated the landmark birthday in his beloved hometown of Plains, Georgia. Carter entered hospice in February 2023 and has since defied the odds throughout his end-of-life care. Carter is a man of many firsts. He was the first U.S. president to make a formal state visit to Sub-Sahara Africa, and even before that, he was the first to be born in a hospital and the first Naval Academy graduate. Although he only served one term, he also became enduringly known for his devotion to human rights and humanitarian efforts at home and abroad. Jimmy Carter celebrates his milestone 100 birthday in his hometown of Plains, Georgia Former President Jimmy Carter is 100 years old today! Join us in honoring our visionary co-founder, America’s humanitarian-in-chief. No other U.S. president has lived so long or done so much good for so many after leaving office. https://t.co/lT65jdsaow pic.twitter.com/NOzqi6dQ3h — The Carter Center (@CarterCenter) October 1, 2024 Born on October 1, 1924, Carter has lived for 80 out of his 100 years in Plains, and it is there that his wife Rosalynn Carter was laid to rest when she predeceased him on November 19, 2023, at the age of 96.. Carter’s grandson, Jason, along with the Carter Center, which the 39th president established with Rosalynn in 1982, is at the forefront of celebrating Carter on his 100th birthday. Ahead of the festivities, on September 17, the Carter Center hosted a musical gala in Atlanta to celebrate Carter, including artists from multiple genres, some of whom were part of his campaign back in 1976. That concert will air on Tuesday. “Not everybody gets 100 years on this earth,” Jason, who also serves as the chair of The Carter Center governing board, said in an interview, “and when they use that time to do so much good for so many people, it’s worth celebrating.” “These last few months, 19 months, now that he’s been in hospice, it’s been a chance for our family to reflect,” he went on, “and then for the rest of the country and the world to really reflect on him. That’s been a really gratifying time.” Celebrating through volunteering In celebration of his 100th birthday, Jimmy Carter was honored by concerts, including by artists who campaigned for him / Everett Collection Jason acknowledges that the resume of any political leader has its high and low points, but he defines Carter’s by his commitment to advocacy. “I think he has a complicated legacy but it really boils down, to me and I think, for him, that he lived out his faith and the commandment to love your neighbor as yourself in a way that made him respect people,” said Jason, chatting with 11Alive news station. “And he used that respect to tell the truth. He used that respect to promote human rights. He used that respect to work with the least of these, all over the world in a way that gave him partners in the poorest places in the world to do remarkable things.” Volunteers launched into building dozens of houses in less than a week in his honor / ImageCollect Carter himself did not attend any specific events for his birthday, with festivities kicking off nearly non-stop since Saturday, starting with the town’s annual peanut festival that Plains proudly combines with celebrating the former president. Plains will hold a ribbon-cutting ceremony for statues dedicated to the Bill of Rights and Constitution; there will also be a flyover dedicated to Carter, organized in part by Secretary of the Navy Carlos Del Toro. Perhaps the method of celebration that resonates most deeply is the volunteer efforts launched in his name. Habitat for Humanity volunteers in St. Paul, Minnesota launched into building 30 new homes in five days; participants included Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood. Jimmy Carter signs Youth Employment Bill into law on August 5 1977 / Everett Collection Next up: Elton John Teases Upcoming Documentary, Gives Insight To Private Struggles The post Longest-Living Former President Jimmy Carter Turns 100, Celebrates In Beloved Hometown appeared first on DoYouRemember? - The Home of Nostalgia. Author, Dana Daly
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Nostalgia Machine
Nostalgia Machine
1 y

‘American Pickers’ Star Frank Fritz Dies At 60
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doyouremember.com

‘American Pickers’ Star Frank Fritz Dies At 60

Frank Fritz died on September 30 at the age of 60. Fritz had suffered from a stroke two years before his passing. He had been a co-host of ‘American Pickers’ and left in 2020, though he reportedly reconnected with co-host Mike Wolfe.   On September 30, Frank Fritz died. News of his passing comes from his former colleague Mike Wolfe, who took to Instagram the following morning to announce his death. Fritz was 60 years old when he died, and his passing comes two years after he suffered a stroke. Fritz was best known for co-hosting the History Channel’s reality series American Pickers. Alongside his childhood friend Mike Wolfe, Fritz traveled across the United States hunting for rare items and hidden treasures, which they featured on the show from its debut in 2010 until his departure in recent years. Since leaving American Pickers, Fritz has faced some health challenges and ups and downs with his former colleague, though they reportedly reconciled. ‘American Pickers’ icon Frank Fritz has died Frank Fritz has died / Instagram Born on October 11, 1965, in Davenport, Iowa, Fritz developed a passion for antiques and collectibles at an early age, which led to his career as a picker. Known for his keen eye especially for vintage signs and oil cans, Fritz’s contribution to the show helped shape it into a long-standing success. Next up: Baseball Legend Pete Rose Dies At The Age Of 83 The post ‘American Pickers’ Star Frank Fritz Dies At 60 appeared first on DoYouRemember? - The Home of Nostalgia. Author, Dana Daly
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YubNub News
YubNub News
1 y

Diddy Reads Off The Full List — Name By Name
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yubnub.news

Diddy Reads Off The Full List — Name By Name

I want to revisit an old video that needs to be re-examined in light of Diddy’s recent arrest. I want to be very clear upfront that the official story surrounding this video is that it’s just Diddy…
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YubNub News
YubNub News
1 y

Harris Leads in Pennsylvania, Though She Has a Major Weakness — Older Voters
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yubnub.news

Harris Leads in Pennsylvania, Though She Has a Major Weakness — Older Voters

In the critical battleground state of Pennsylvania, both Vice President Harris and President Trump are devoting vast sums of their resources and time to winning over the sliver of voters who will likely…
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YubNub News
YubNub News
1 y

Prophetic Dream: They Want to Erase God’s Fingerprint from Creation
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yubnub.news

Prophetic Dream: They Want to Erase God’s Fingerprint from Creation

I had the following dream on September 11 (2024). It is an alert to the nation’s intercessors to recognize a demonic agenda that underlies many of the battles we have been facing. This is not just a…
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YubNub News
YubNub News
1 y

'Cackling Drunk': James Woods Shares DEVASTATING Pic that 'Embodies Biden/Harris Admin' and It's BRUTAL
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yubnub.news

'Cackling Drunk': James Woods Shares DEVASTATING Pic that 'Embodies Biden/Harris Admin' and It's BRUTAL

James Woods never holds back, that's probably why we here at Twitchy adore him so much. Thank God he's on our side though because the man is brutally, savagely, MERCILESSLY honest ... and a total bada*s…
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