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Free yourself from worrying about things you can't control with the help of a simple image
In a world of 8 billion people, a septillion stars, and 17 different ways to stub your toe while walking through your bedroom, there are infinite things that we can all spend our time and emotional energy worrying about. The problem is that many important things, whether it’s politics, the environment, or the economy, are realistically beyond our control.Yes, we can vote, make sound choices with our money, and recycle, but our actions will have little effect on these issues no matter how much energy we spend worrying about them.So what do we do? From the ancient Stoics to modern-day psychologists, great thinkers believe that if we refocus on what we can control or influence, we’ll be much happier and empowered to make real changes in the world.What is the Circle of Influence?The theory is known as the circle of influence and it can be explained with a simple graphic with 3 circles:
via The Open University Creative Commons Circle of control:“There are actually very few things we control. We control what we do with our bodies (hopefully); how we act, what we think (easier said than done, I know), and how we react to events or people (again, not necessarily easy, but doable!),” Diane N. Solomon Ph.D., The Narrative Nurse Practitioner writes at Psychology Today. “Pretty much everything else lies outside our circle of control. No matter how hard we try, we won’t be able to control those things.”The ancient Stoics defined this area as our “opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever is of our own doing.”This is where we should focus the vast majority of our attention because our energies are best used helping ourselves, our families, friends and those in our community. In many ways, that makes more sense than spending our time and energy hoping that someone in Washington will do the right thing or that people in a country across the globe will reduce their carbon emissions.Circle of influence:“What’s in our circle of influence? Maybe what the teacher or principal does after our child gets called out for sprinkling glitter on the seat of the teacher’s chair—or maybe not. We influence our communities or even our state by volunteering for a neighborhood watch or committee, writing letters to the editor, protesting for cleaner water, human rights, or acting on any passion of ours,” Dr. Solomon continues.But, in most circumstances, our influence over these areas is minor and they are definitely beyond our control. So we should spend less time worrying about areas of influence than those within our circle of control. Circle of concern:This is an area that we focus on at our own peril. When we spend time on things we have no influence or control over, we squander a lot of our precious resources, one of the biggest being time. Because we can’t control these things, they make us feel more anxious than the things we have power over. “Most people spend a lot of time focused on things in their circle of concern,” Dr. Solomon writes. “If that’s you, the more time and energy you spend worrying about your circle of concern, the worse you probably feel, because it's almost totally outside your control.”She says the most important thing to do when we're feeling anxious is to ask ourselves, “Am I thinking of things in my circle of concern?” If so, it’s time to refocus our attention.Focusing only on the things we control may make us feel like we're neglecting important problems that need our attention. Can a good person go through life without worrying about wars overseas, the plastic island in the ocean the size of Texas, or women’s rights in Afghanistan? William B. Irvine, a philosophy professor and author of “A Guide to the Good Life,” says it’s more about being honest with ourselves about where we can be helpful. “The circle of control is not a prescription for detachment or indifference. It is a way of focusing our attention and energy on what really matters, so that we can live more fully and authentically,” Irvine writes.
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