The thing about Gen X being in our 40s and 50s now is that we were never supposed to get "old." Like, we're the cool, aloof grunge generation of young tech geniuses. Most of the giants that everyone uses every day—Google, Amazon, YouTube—came from Gen X. Our generation is both "Friends" and "The Office." We are, like, relevant, dammit.And also, our backs hurt, we need reading glasses, our kids are in college and how in the name of Jennifer Aniston's skincare regimen did we get here? It's weird to reach the stage when there's no doubt that you aren't young anymore. Not that Gen X is old—50 is the new 30, you know—but we're definitely not young. And it seems like every day there's something new that comes along to shove that fact right in our faces. When did hair start growing out of that spot? Why do I suddenly hate driving at night? Why is this restaurant so loud? Does that skin on my arm look…crepey? As they so often do, Penn and Kim Holderness from The Holderness Family have captured the Gen X existential crisis in a video that has us both nodding a long and laughing out loud. Salt-n-Pepa in the waiting room at the doctor's office? Uh, no. That's a line we are not ready to cross yet. Nirvana being played on the Classic Rock station? Nope, not prepared for that, either. Watch: Hoo boy, the denial is real, isn't it? We grew up on "Choose Your Own Adventure" books, for goodness sake, and it's starting to feel like we made a wrong choice a chapter or two back and suddenly landed our entire generation in a time warp. This isn't real, is it? Thirty years ago was the 1970s. That's just a Gen X fact. So what if we've lived long enough for our high school fashions to go out of style and then back into style and then back out of style again? Seriously, though, we can either lament our age and stage in life or we can laugh about it, and people are grateful to the Holdernesses for assisting with the latter. Gen X fans are also thrilled to see their own experiences being validated, because at this point, we've all had that moment in the grocery store or the waiting room when one of our jams came on and we immediately went into a panic. "They were playing The Cure in the grocery store and I almost started crying," wrote one commenter. "I mean, how 'alternative' can you be if you're being played in Krogers? You guys are great! Thanks for making us laugh.""I couldn’t believe it when I heard Bohemian Rhapsody being played in Walmart," shared another. "That was edgy in my day.""I know!!! Bon Jovi at the grocery store!!! That was my clue in!!" added another."Long live Gen Xers! We have to be strong!! We can get through this together!! #NKOTBmeetsAARP" wrote on commenter.You can find more from the Holderness Family on their Facebook page, their podcast and their website, theholdernessfamily.com.This article originally appeared on 1.28.24

Have kids, they said. It'll be great, they said. Well, one dad may have a bone to pick with those mysterious "they," in that colloquial saying. A man running the Instagram account Havea_676, posted a video that has parents on the internet not only laughing at his tender moment turned embarrassing, but sharing their own savage kid moments.The dad was having a sweet moment with his daughter asking her about her day and what she was excited about for the next day before tucking her into bed. Things appeared to be going well and his daughter who is off camera can be heard answering all of the questions. But at some point during the father daughter moment, the little girl was over the many questions the man was asking. "Daddy, can you please stop with your questions, I'm trying to sleep and also your breath stinks," the litter girl reveals. Yikes. Dad didn't have much to say after that bombshell. He simply readjusts so his mouth isn't pointing in her direction and says, "goodnight, I love you." There went that sweet moment being caught on video but after uploading the unexpected roast session, the dad was joined by fellow parents commiserating. "Kids are brutally honest with no filter. I was helping my daughter button her shirt one morning and I asked her if she brushed her teeth. She said yes… then there was an awkward pause before she frowned and said 'did you? Cuz it don’t smell like it' Needless to say I don’t help the lil heffa get dressed for school anymore lol," one mom says."Kids know how to cut deep with one slice!! Haha," someone else writes."I came home yesterday and asked my daughter if she missed me…She said NO with her whole chest," another commenter reveals. See on Instagram Kids are just brutally honest until they get a bit older to realize there are gentler ways to deliver news. But if this dad learned one thing from his lengthy conversation, it's to brush your teeth before goodnight chats so you don't melt your kid's face off. This article originally appeared on 1.29.24

Many people don’t like small talk because it forces them to have conversations about trivial topics such as the weather, what they saw on TV the night before, or their weekend plans. Other people don’t like it because it causes them anxiety to talk with someone they may not know well.Either way, research shows that small talk actually is a big deal. Julia Korn at Forbes says that small talk enables us to find common ground and shared interests, build muscles to overcome social discomfort, and lays the groundwork for transitioning into more serious, deeper topics.It also makes us feel good. Studies show that a quick exchange with a barista while getting coffee can result in feelings of belonging and increased happiness.So, how can we get more out of small talk and make it more comfortable? Stanford lecturer, podcast host, and communication expert Matt Abrahams told CNBC that one small phrase does both, “Tell me more.” He learned the phrase's value by listening to his mother, who had “impressive interpersonal skills.”“Her favorite phrase was ‘Tell me more,’ and it happens to be one that people who are good at small talk always use,” Abrahams wrote.The Stanford expert says that the simple phrase works because it is a “support response” that encourages what the speaker is saying instead of being a “shift response” that brings the conversation back to you.Suppose you’re talking to someone at a party who’s complaining about a lousy dinner they had at a local steakhouse. “The steak was overcooked, and the service was terrible,” they tell you. A proper support response could be, “Tell me more about the service” or “What else didn’t you like about the dinner?"“Comments like these give your partner permission to expand on what they said or provide deeper insight,” Abrahams wrote.On the other hand, a shift response that brings the conversation back to you would be something like, “I once had a bad dinner at a steakhouse…” and then you told that story. People who overuse the shift response are often seen as self-centered or the type of folks who have to make everything about themselves.That’s a rather annoying personality trait that doesn’t make people a lot of friends or an enjoyable person to work with in the office.Support responses such as “Tell me more” or “What happened next” are a great way to guarantee that you follow another proven conversation strategy, the 43:57 rule. A marketing whiz over at Gong.io took a deep dive into 25,537 sales calls with the help of AI and discovered a cool tidbit: sales went through the roof when the salesperson chatted 43% of the time and lent an ear for 57%. They've dubbed it the "43:57 rule."Now, while this gem of wisdom came from business calls, think about our daily chats with friends. It's all about tuning in and showing you care about what the other person has to say. Everyone loves to feel heard and valued.In the end, the trick to being a great conversationalist isn’t all about being witty, charming, or informed but simply knowing how to listen.This article originally appeared on 10.5.23

Have you ever wondered what happens at the dry cleaners? Or are you like me, who just assumed the people at the dry cleaners were wizards and never questioned their magic? Turns out, dry cleaners aren't magic and there's actually a pretty interesting explanation of how they came to be and what they do.Melissa Pateras is known on Tiktok for her laundry knowledge. Seriously, her ability to fold laundry is hypnotizing. This time, she created a video explaining what actually takes place at the dry cleaner and the internet is aghast. Before Pateras explained what happens in the mysterious world behind the counter of a dry cleaner, she asked a few of her friends what they thought dry cleaning was. Their answers were...interesting to say the least. One friend surmised, "You put it in a box, right...and then you let some wind, really fast wind, blow around on your clothes and it wipes off all the dirt." The friend, whose username is @unlearn16, continued with her working hypothesis, saying that the clothes are then blasted with infrared heat to sterilize the garments. While that is certainly an interesting theory, that's not what happens.Another friend guessed, "Dry cleaning is when they take all of your dirty clothes into this big dryer with a clean sheet that sticks all of the dirt to it from your dirty clothes." This friend was also incorrect, and Pateras finally explained why after her friends dug deep into their brains for their best guesses.Turns out dry cleaning was invented by accident when Jean-Baptiste Jolly spilled a kerosene lamp on his tablecloth, which dried cleaner than it was previously, according to Pateras.The laundry guru explained that while it was dangerous, the practice of cleaning things with kerosene continued until a less flammable method was discovered. But even the safer method is still fairly harsh, which is why dry cleaners take buttons off of clothing before running them through, she says. This prompted one commenter to ask, "They really take the buttons off of every shirt?" to which Pateras replied that it only occurs if the buttons won't withstand the chemicals. If you've ever been curious about what happens at the dry cleaner, watch the video below. She takes you through each step. @melissadilkespateras What is dry cleaning #laundry #laundrytok #drycleaning #funfacts @Tracy Taylor @Unlearn16 @Ana Pac @Ashley Mathieu @Li This article originally appeared on 5.10.23

After working six years as a labor and delivery nurse Holly, 30, has heard a lot of inappropriate remarks made by men while their partners are in labor. “Sometimes the moms think it’s funny—and if they think it’s funny, then I’ll laugh with them,” Holly told TODAY Parents. “But if they get upset, I’ll try to be the buffer. I’ll change the subject.”Some of the comments are so wrong that she did something creative with them by turning them into “inspirational” quotes and setting them to “A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton on TikTok.“Some partners are hard to live up to!” she jokingly captioned the video.The first video featured the following facepalm-inducing quotes:“I think you should just get a C-section. This is taking too long.”“How long is this gonna take? I have plans this weekend.”“Are you sure you want an epidural? My mom didn’t have one. Before you make a decision, we should talk about it.”“Sew an extra stitch down there for me, doc. We want everything just the way it was before all of this.” @hollyd_rn Part 1: Some partners are hard to live up to! Get you a good one #laboranddelivery #labor It’s unbelievable that anyone would make such selfish comments while their partner is in the throes of giving birth. Anyone who would ask, “How long is this gonna take?” definitely isn’t prepared to raise a child.Some TikTok users thought that these women should have left their partners right there in the delivery room."LOL immediate divorce, I'm not joking," Rig wrote. Little_n_often agreed saying, "I’d be getting the divorce papers ready."“I would sign the divorce papers while in labor and pushing,” another commenter wrote.The video was a massive hit on TikTok, receiving over 10 million views. So, the nurse followed it up with a sequel where she shared more “inspirational” delivery room quotes from men. @hollyd_rn Part 2: some partners are hard to live up to! Get you a good one! #laboranddelivery #babydaddy #labor "Wake me up when the baby gets here I'm tired." (Rolls over, puts cover over head and slept thru the birth of his baby.)"Can you move to the birthing ball so I can sleep in the bed?"(As the patient is pushing) "Do you guys do DNA tests here? My mom wants me to get one before we leave.""Call me when you're about to have the baby. I'm gonna go with [name redacted] to the bar and watch the game."Holly also told TODAY Parents that men should also keep their thoughts on pain medication to themselves and to stop looking at the contraction monitor and making comments.“She can feel it!” Holly said. “You don’t need to ask her if she felt it. Trust me, she did.”Holly’s public airing of men’s bad behavior had to be therapeutic, because, as a nurse, she can’t tell them off in the delivery room. But it's also a warning to men out there on how not to behave when their partners are giving birth. If there was ever a time in the world to stop thinking about yourself, it’s while your partner is giving birth.Remember guys, think before you say anything in the delivery room, the nurses are listening.This article first appeared on 09.23.22

It's amazing to consider just how quickly the world has changed over the past 11 months. If you were to have told someone in February 2020 that the entire country would be on some form of lockdown, nearly everyone would be wearing a mask, and half a million people were going to die due to a virus, no one would have believed you.Yet, here we are.PPE masks were the last thing on Leah Holland of Georgetown, Kentucky's mind on March 4, 2020, when she got a tattoo inspired by the words of a close friend."We were just talking about things we admire about each other and he said, 'You courageously and radically refuse to wear a mask,' like meaning that I'm undeniably myself. I thought that was a really poetic way of saying that," Holland told Fox 13.So, she had "courageously & radically refuse to wear a mask" tattooed on her left forearm. It's a beautiful sentiment about Leah's dedication to being her true self. It's also a reminder for Leah to remain true to herself throughout her life.However, the tattoo would come to have a very different meaning just two days later when the first case of COVID-19 was reported in Kentucky."It basically looked like I'm totally, you know, anti-mask or whatever, which is not the case," said Holland.Now, she was embarrassed to be seen with the tattoo for fear she'd be associated with the anti-maskers who either deny the existence of the virus or refuse to wear a mask to protect others. Either way, it's a bad look.So Leah started wearing long-sleeve shirts and cardigan sweaters whenever in public to cover up the tattoo.On Monday, TikTok users asked each other to share their "dumbest tattoo" and she was pretty sure she had the winner. @wakaflockafloccar #stitch with @hannanicbic I could NOT have had worse timing. #fyp #foryoupage #tattoo #worsttattoo #winner ♬ original sound - wakaflockafloccare In her video, she talks about how her tattoo was about "not pretending to be something you're not," but then revealed it to show how — after a historical twist — it made her out to be someone she isn't."I just kind of wanted people to laugh with me because I think it's funny now, too," said Holland.Plenty of people on TikTok laughed along with her with one user suggesting she update the tattoo with the phrase: "Hindsight is 2020.""I was dying laughing. I'm like, I'm glad there are people that find this as funny as I think it is," said Holland."It will be a funny story to tell years from now," she said. "I don't think it will ever not be a funny story."Unfortunately, even when the pandemic is over, Leah will still probably have to explain her tattoo. Because most won't soon forget the COVID-19 era in America and there's no doubt many will still feel passionate about those who refused to wear a mask.This article originally appeared on 02.24.21

Freddie Teer is a normal boy. He loves Legos, skateboarding, and horsing around with his older brother Ollie. But in March 2017, his mother faced every parent's worst nightmare.Photo via iStock.Freddie was doing tricks down the stairs of his front porch when he fell off his bike — and his bike fell on him. "[He was] just crying, wouldn't let us touch his leg, couldn't put any weight on his leg. We knew," mom Ashley says.Ashley rushed Freddie to the emergency room, where an X-ray confirmed the bones in his left shin were broken in half. He needed to be sedated, his bones set and put in a cast. It was an agonizing day for the Teers. But it's what happened next that was truly inspiring.We've all seen heartwarming stories of communities coming together to raise money online to help people cover medical care for themselves and loved ones.There was the Kentucky mom with stage 4 cancer whose family collected over $1 million. The New Orleans police officer whose unit banked thousands for her chemotherapy. The Colorado man who lost his legs and whose friends crowdfunded his recovery.While Freddie's injury required major treatment, none of Ashley's friends raised any money for him.No one from their town took up a collection or held a bake sale.No GoFundMe page was started to help cover his bills.Instead, Ashley and Freddie walked out of the hospital owing nothing. Because they live in Canada."You just leave," Ashley says. "You don't pay anything."Incredible.Under Canada's health care system, people like the Teers can see their doctors and go to the hospital when they're hurt or sick, and they don't get charged.So heartwarming.It almost wasn't this way.Ashley was born and raised in St. Louis in the U.S. where health care is expensive and complicated. Twelve years ago, she fell in love with a Canadian man and moved with him to Abbotsford, British Columbia, where they and their five children will enjoy heavily subsidized, affordable health care coverage at a low premium for the remainder of their natural lives."We're able to go when we need help and we get help," Ashley says.Just amazing.As Freddie recovered, no one showed up at the Teer home with a large check or collection plate full of cash.Instead, Ashley and her family were "supported through meals and just that kind of care" — meals they were able to enjoy without having to decide between enduring the shame of hitting up their friends for money or facing the prospect of sliding into bankruptcy.The most uplifting part? Middle-income Canadians like the Teers pay taxes at roughly the same rates as Americans and still get their bones fixed for free at hospitals.Not everything about Freddie's recovery process was smooth.The first night, Freddie tossed and turned in severe pain, unable to sleep. Ashley, however, was able to call her family doctor — who she never has to pay since he is compensated by a public system that continues to have overwhelming public support to this day — to get her son a codeine prescription. Miraculous!Canada's public health care plan doesn't cover drugs. But, inspiringly, because of price controls, medicine is way cheaper there.The Teers did lean on their friends and family for help while Freddie got better."We were kind of just asking people to pray," she explains — primarily to lift her son's spirits, and not, thankfully, to ask God to provide sufficient funds to cover basic medical care that every human living in a fair and prosperous society should have access to.Even though he wasn't able to move around, friends and relatives eagerly invited Freddie to hang out during his recovery instead avoiding him out of guilt for not pledging enough to his GoFundMe campaign.Just. Wow.With support from his community — support that didn't include a single dollar — Freddie's cast came off six weeks later, right on schedule.Healthy once more, Freddie went right back to enjoying extreme sports like BMX biking, skateboarding, and snowboarding, and Ashley is free to let him enjoy them without worrying about one fall wiping out their entire life savings and leaving her family destitute."Where we live, we're not stressful when things happen to our kids," Ashley says. "It's not a stressful time financially, so the whole family is not anxious."It's peace of mind that she — and the residents of virtually every other rational, wealthy, industrialized country in the world — share."I feel safe, and I feel like my voice is heard," she says. "I can't imagine living in a place that I didn't feel that way."Inspiring.This article originally appeared on 03.27.17

A lot of parents are tired of being told how technology is screwing up their kids. Moms and dads of the digital age are well aware of the growing competition for their children's attention, and they're bombarded at each turn of the page or click of the mouse with both cutting-edge ideas and newfound worries for raising great kids.But beneath the madness of modernity, the basics of raising a moral child haven't really changed.Parents want their kids to achieve their goals and find happiness, but Harvard researchers believe that doesn't have to come at the expense of kindness and empathy. They say a few tried-and-true strategies remain the best ways to mold your kids into the morally upstanding and goals-oriented humans you want them to be.Here are six practical tips:1) Hang out with your kids.This is, like, the foundation of it all. Spend regular time with your kids, ask them open-ended questions about themselves, about the world and how they see it, and actively listen to their responses. Not only will you learn all sorts of things that make your child unique, you'll also be demonstrating to them how to show care and concern for another person.2) If it matters, say it out loud.According to the researchers, "Even though most parents and caretakers say that their children being caring is a top priority, often children aren't hearing that message." So be sure to say it with them. And so they know it's something they need to keep up with, check in with teachers, coaches, and others who work with your kids on how they're doing with teamwork, collaboration, and being a generally nice person.3) Show your child how to "work it out."Walk them through decision-making processes that take into consideration people who could be affected. For example, if your child wants to quit a sport or other activity, encourage them to identify the source of the problem and consider their commitment to the team. Then help them figure out if quitting does, in fact, fix the problem.4) Make helpfulness and gratitude routine.The researchers write, "Studies show that people who engage in the habit of expressing gratitude are more likely to be helpful, generous, compassionate, and forgiving — and they're also more likely to be happy and healthy." So it's good for parents to hold the line on chores, asking kids to help their siblings, and giving thanks throughout the day. And when it comes to rewarding "good" behavior, the researchers recommend that parents "only praise uncommon acts of kindness."5) Check your child's destructive emotions."The ability to care for others is overwhelmed by anger, shame, envy, or other negative feelings," say the researchers. Helping kids name and process those emotions, then guiding them toward safe conflict resolution, will go a long way toward keeping them focused on being a caring individual. It's also important to set clear and reasonable boundaries that they'll understand are out of love and concern for their safety.6) Show your kids the bigger picture."Almost all children empathize with and care about a small circle of families and friends," say the researchers. The trick is getting them to care about people who are socially, culturally, and even geographically outside their circles. You can do this by coaching them to be good listeners, by encouraging them to put themselves in other people's shoes, and by practicing empathy using teachable moments in news and entertainment.The study concludes with a short pep talk for all the parents out there:"Raising a caring, respectful, ethical child is and always has been hard work. But it's something all of us can do. And no work is more important or ultimately more rewarding."This article originally appeared on 06.16.15

Technology is the single greatest contributor to climate change but it may also soon be used to offset the damage we've done to our planet since the Industrial Age began.In September 2018, a project in Myanmar used drones to fire "seed missiles" into remote areas of the country where trees were not growing. Less than a year later, thousands of those seed missiles have sprouted into 20-inch mangrove saplings that could literally be a case study in how technology can be used to innovate our way out of the climate change crisis."We now have a case confirmed of what species we can plant and in what conditions," Irina Fedorenko, co-founder of Biocarbon Engineering, told Fast Company. "We are now ready to scale up our planting and replicate this success."According to Fedoranko, just two operators could send out a mini-fleet of seed missile planting drones that could plant 400,000 trees a day -- a number that quite possibly could make massive headway in combating the effects of manmade climate change.The drones were designed by an ex-NASA engineer. And with a pressing need to reseed an area in Myanmar equal to the size of Rhode Island, the challenge is massive but suddenly within reach. Bremley Lyngdoh, founder and CEO of World Impact, says reseeding that area could theoretically house as many as 1 billion new trees."Obviously, planting a billion trees will take a long time without the help of drones," Lyngdoh told Fast Company.But they've now got a powerful new ally in their corner. For context, it took the Worldview Foundation 7 years to plant 6 million trees in Myanmar. Now, with the help of the drones, they hope to plant another 4 million before the end of 2019.Myanmar is a great case study for the project. In addition to the available land for the drone project, the nation has been particularly hit by the early effects of climate change in recent years. Rising sea levels are having a measurable impact on the population. In addition to their ability to clear CO2 from the atmosphere, healthy trees can also help solidify the soil, which can reduce the kind of soil erosion that has been affecting local populations in Myanmar.Going forward, technologies like seed-planting drones could help stem the tide of catastrophic climate change while our governments and societies work to change the habits of consumers and corporations that are driving the problem. Our endless hunger for new technology may be the driving force behind climate change and deforestation but it could also end up being the solution to a problem.This article originally appeared on 4.17.19

It is pretty wild to consider that Millennials are now entering their 40s and no longer hold the mantle of the young and up-and-coming generation. According to Pew Research, Millennials were born between 1981 and 1996, so these days they range between the ages of 29 and 42.These are the years when people begin to settle down, start families and experience the first uncomfortable signs of aging.The Holderness Family is headed by a Gen X couple, Kim and Penn Holderness, who are best known for their viral comedy songs. Their latest video is about welcoming Millennials to their next phase in life, one that’s less about spending all night in the club and more about embracing a quieter, more practical life. In this case, “the club” isn’t a loud place to get a Long Island iced tea but a state of mind where you’re more likely to appreciate a good walk for your mental health.Holderness Family Music has over 797,000 subscribers on YouTube and over 230 million views since they started their page in 2011. They “create original music, song parodies, and skits to poke fun of ourselves, the world we live in, and (hopefully) make you laugh.”Welcome to the millennial club. Membership is mandatory!The "Welcome to the Club, Millennials" video is a bit of a departure from the usual intergenerational bickering we’re accustomed to seeing on social media. Instead, Gen Xers open their doors to the Millennials entering the next phase in their lives. “Well, Gen X is here to say ‘don't be bummed, come on in, welcome to the club,’” Penn raps.According to the song, if you’re a Millennial and have done any of the following, you’re officially in “the club,” whether you know it or not.​Hung a calendar on your fridgeHave strong opinions on who’s the best “Jeopardy!” hostPlay WordleWore reader glassesDrink seltzersHad Gen Z call your clothes “vintage”Gone Christmas shopping in OctoberHad a three-day hangoverGone to a movie theater because it serves foodTook a mental health walksBought a chair for your backGrooved to supermarket musicOwn plastic houseplantsTaken supplementsSaved money for a Disney vacationHave zero f**cks to giveStill love Blink-182Millennials who are a little leery of aging should be happy to learn that they may be in the happiest times of their lives. According to developmental psychologists, the period of life between ages 30 to 45 is known as “established adulthood” and is a time of life when people are happiest.Even though people in this age group are stuck in the “career and care crunch,” where they are likely to juggle a job while caring for children or older relatives, this developmental stage is also very fulfilling.“Yes, people were feeling overwhelmed and talked about having too much to do in too little time,” Clare Mehta, Professor of Psychology at Emmanuel College, wrote in The Conversation. “But they also talked about feeling profoundly satisfied. All of these things that were bringing them stress were also bringing them joy.”This article originally appeared on 5.01.23