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NEWSMAX Feed
NEWSMAX Feed
35 w

LA County Sues PepsiCo, Coca-Cola Over Plastic
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LA County Sues PepsiCo, Coca-Cola Over Plastic

Los Angeles County has sued beverage makers PepsiCo and Coca-Cola, accusing them of polluting the most populous U.S. county with plastic bottles and misleading the public about the environmental impact and recyclability of their containers.
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NEWSMAX Feed
NEWSMAX Feed
35 w

Kamala Harris: I'm Running Like the Underdog
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Kamala Harris: I'm Running Like the Underdog

Democrat presidential nominee Kamala Harris said Thursday that she's "running like the underdog" against Republican Donald Trump while asserting she's going to win despite "what the polls say." Harris made the comments during a press conference in Madison, Wisconsin, covered...
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NEWSMAX Feed
NEWSMAX Feed
35 w

Trump Campaign Ad Highlights Black Voter Support
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Trump Campaign Ad Highlights Black Voter Support

Former President Donald Trump's campaign on Thursday released a new ad that shows Black men explaining why they plan to vote for the Republican presidential candidate and not for Vice President Kamala Harris.
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NEWSMAX Feed
35 w

Trump Calls Alleged Pa. Voter Fraud 'Criminal'
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Trump Calls Alleged Pa. Voter Fraud 'Criminal'

Former President Donald Trump is calling for the prosecution of those involved in alleged voter fraud in the key battleground state of Pennsylvania."We caught them cheating big in Pennsylvania. must announce and prosecute, now! This is a criminal violation of the law. Stop...
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
35 w

BREAKING: Trump indicted for rescuing several babies from Biden Halloween sacrifice ritual
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genesiustimes.com

BREAKING: Trump indicted for rescuing several babies from Biden Halloween sacrifice ritual

WASHINGTON, DC—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for rescuing several babies about to be eaten by President* Joe Biden in a bizarre Halloween sacrifice ritual at the White House. The disturbing incident, caught on camera by a secret service agent, shows Biden grinning maniacally as he prepares to devour the helpless infants.  The ritual, which has been dubbed the “Biden Sacrifice,” involves the current President selecting a group of unlucky babies from a pool of volunteers, promising them a lifetime supply of candy and a personal tour of the White House in exchange for their participation. Once the babies are lured into Biden’s lair, he reveals his true nature, ripping them apart limb by limb and gulping down their remains like a deranged cannibal.  In a statement released by the Trump campaign, the former President took responsibility for his actions, stating that he “could not stand by and watch innocent lives be snuffed out by a madman.” According to witnesses, Trump swooped in and rescued the babies, whisking them away to safety in a secret location.  This isn't trick or treat Biden pic.twitter.com/prTMX46mQn— Caballero (@HughAkston0) October 31, 2024 However, the case against Trump has been met with resistance from many legal experts, who argue that his actions were justified and heroic. “If President Biden is truly a cannibalistic monster, then it is the duty of every American to stand up against his tyranny,” said one legal scholar. “Trump’s actions were brave and noble, and he should be commended for his heroism, not indicted for it.”  The leak of the disturbing footage has sparked outrage among parents and anti-cannibalism activists, who are calling for a full investigation into the President’s activities and the potential existence of a satanic cult operating within the White House. Some have even gone as far as to call for Biden’s impeachment, citing his “unfit” and “disturbing” behavior as grounds for removal from office.  As the controversy continues to swirl, one thing is certain: the Halloween season will never be the same. With the “Biden Sacrifice” ritual now a part of the horror landscape, trick-or-treaters will have to be extra cautious this year, lest they find themselves on the receiving end of the President’s insatiable hunger. And while Trump’s actions may have saved the lives of several innocent babies, his indictment has raised questions about the state of justice in America. The post BREAKING: Trump indicted for rescuing several babies from Biden Halloween sacrifice ritual appeared first on Genesius Times.
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
35 w

Biden back to anti-bite collar to protect babies
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genesiustimes.com

Biden back to anti-bite collar to protect babies

President* Joe Biden has been spotted wearing his anti-bite collar once again, as concerns grow over his interactions with young children at the White House, following an incident at the White House Halloween celebration. The collar, which was first introduced during Biden’s time as Vice President, is designed to prevent him from biting children during playful interactions.  The decision to reinstate the anti-bite collar comes after a series of disturbing incidents involving Biden and young children. In one incident, Biden was caught on camera nibbling on the fingertips of a child during a White House tour, prompting concerns about the President’s behavior and his suitability to hold office.  In a statement released by the White House, Biden apologized for his actions, stating that he had “no recollection of the incident” and that he was “horrified by the allegations.” However, many experts are questioning the sincerity of his apology, pointing out the numerous reports of children going missing from the White House grounds in recent months.  The anti-bite collar, which was invented by a team of top behavioral scientists, is designed to provide a gentle reminder to Biden whenever he attempts to bite a child. The collar emits a mild electrical shock whenever Biden tries to make contact with a child’s skin, ensuring that he keeps his teeth to himself.  Critics have raised concerns about the potential exploitation of children for the sake of Biden’s behavior, but the White House has defended its decision, stating that the collar will provide an important deterrent for the President’s playful nibbling habits.  As the controversy continues to swirl, one thing is certain: the White House will never be the same. With Biden’s anti-bite collar back in place, children can once again feel safe exploring the historic grounds without fear of being nibbled by the President. The post Biden back to anti-bite collar to protect babies appeared first on Genesius Times.
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
35 w

Kids At Tim Walz's Door Disappointed As He Fills Candy Bags With Tampons
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Kids At Tim Walz's Door Disappointed As He Fills Candy Bags With Tampons

ST. PAUL, MN — Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz disappointed trick-or-treaters at his door this year by handing them tampons instead of the traditional candy.
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
35 w

Matt Walsh Denies Smiling Allegations
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Matt Walsh Denies Smiling Allegations

NASHVILLE, TN — Matt Walsh vehemently denied allegations of smiling earlier this week after several Daily Wire whistleblowers came forward.
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
35 w

San Francisco Parents Find Piece Of Candy In Child’s Bucket Of Needles
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babylonbee.com

San Francisco Parents Find Piece Of Candy In Child’s Bucket Of Needles

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — A pair of local parents were in for a shock Halloween night after discovering a stray piece of candy in their child's bag of needles.
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
35 w

Biden Fitted With Muzzle So He Can't Bite Any More Babies
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babylonbee.com

Biden Fitted With Muzzle So He Can't Bite Any More Babies

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Out of an abundance of caution, the White House confirmed Thursday that President Joe Biden had been fitted with a muzzle to prevent him from biting any more babies. This comes one day after a bizarre incident in which the president bit several babies at a White House Halloween event.
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