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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
50 w

Biden back to anti-bite collar to protect babies
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genesiustimes.com

Biden back to anti-bite collar to protect babies

President* Joe Biden has been spotted wearing his anti-bite collar once again, as concerns grow over his interactions with young children at the White House, following an incident at the White House Halloween celebration. The collar, which was first introduced during Biden’s time as Vice President, is designed to prevent him from biting children during playful interactions.  The decision to reinstate the anti-bite collar comes after a series of disturbing incidents involving Biden and young children. In one incident, Biden was caught on camera nibbling on the fingertips of a child during a White House tour, prompting concerns about the President’s behavior and his suitability to hold office.  In a statement released by the White House, Biden apologized for his actions, stating that he had “no recollection of the incident” and that he was “horrified by the allegations.” However, many experts are questioning the sincerity of his apology, pointing out the numerous reports of children going missing from the White House grounds in recent months.  The anti-bite collar, which was invented by a team of top behavioral scientists, is designed to provide a gentle reminder to Biden whenever he attempts to bite a child. The collar emits a mild electrical shock whenever Biden tries to make contact with a child’s skin, ensuring that he keeps his teeth to himself.  Critics have raised concerns about the potential exploitation of children for the sake of Biden’s behavior, but the White House has defended its decision, stating that the collar will provide an important deterrent for the President’s playful nibbling habits.  As the controversy continues to swirl, one thing is certain: the White House will never be the same. With Biden’s anti-bite collar back in place, children can once again feel safe exploring the historic grounds without fear of being nibbled by the President. The post Biden back to anti-bite collar to protect babies appeared first on Genesius Times.
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
50 w

Kids At Tim Walz's Door Disappointed As He Fills Candy Bags With Tampons
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babylonbee.com

Kids At Tim Walz's Door Disappointed As He Fills Candy Bags With Tampons

ST. PAUL, MN — Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz disappointed trick-or-treaters at his door this year by handing them tampons instead of the traditional candy.
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
50 w

Matt Walsh Denies Smiling Allegations
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babylonbee.com

Matt Walsh Denies Smiling Allegations

NASHVILLE, TN — Matt Walsh vehemently denied allegations of smiling earlier this week after several Daily Wire whistleblowers came forward.
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
50 w

San Francisco Parents Find Piece Of Candy In Child’s Bucket Of Needles
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babylonbee.com

San Francisco Parents Find Piece Of Candy In Child’s Bucket Of Needles

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — A pair of local parents were in for a shock Halloween night after discovering a stray piece of candy in their child's bag of needles.
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Conservative Satire
Conservative Satire
50 w

Biden Fitted With Muzzle So He Can't Bite Any More Babies
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babylonbee.com

Biden Fitted With Muzzle So He Can't Bite Any More Babies

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Out of an abundance of caution, the White House confirmed Thursday that President Joe Biden had been fitted with a muzzle to prevent him from biting any more babies. This comes one day after a bizarre incident in which the president bit several babies at a White House Halloween event.
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Nostalgia Machine
Nostalgia Machine
50 w

Burger King Fans Excited As Chain Releases First ‘Whimsical’ Holiday Item In 70 Years
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doyouremember.com

Burger King Fans Excited As Chain Releases First ‘Whimsical’ Holiday Item In 70 Years

Christmas is about to become a lot more fun for fast food lovers as Burger King just announced their new offering ahead of the holiday. The Burger merchant is set to debut its first-ever advent calendar in seven decades, with each pack containing 12 mystery items. In addition to the festive offer, Burger King is bringing back their 31-day deal for Royal Perks members, which they can access via the app for free meals and holiday merchandise. Last year’s goodies included free cheeseburgers and $3 Whoopers every week. Burger King’s first whimsical holiday item in 70 years Burger King Advent calendar / Burger King/TikTok/elisabeth.hartman Each compartment of the advent calendar represents the 12 days of Christmas, making it the perfect gift for friends and family. Each item promises to reference the fast-food chain’s 70-year journey to becoming an industry giant, featuring nostalgic items from Burger King’s Kids Club. While customers prepare to save on their favorite goodies this Christmas, the Halloween-inspired deals are still ongoing with Addams Family-themed meals like Wednesday’s Whopper, Morticia’s Kooky Chocolate Shake, Thing’s onion rings, the Macabre Meal, and Gomez’s Churro Fries. Unsplash How much is the advent calendar? The limited-edition advent calendar is priced at $19.54, which is a steal considering the contents are reportedly worth over $100. Excited Burger King fans can either wait until the sale begins on November 22 or text ADVENT to 251-251 to save their spots ahead of debut day. Photo by M. Rennim on Unsplash Fans have reacted to the news on social media, saying ‘90s kids are about to go wild over the calendars. “One the first day of Whopper, my true love gave to me…,” a witty X user wrote, referring to the popular 12 days of Christmas song. The Chief Marketing Officer of Burger King North America, Pat O’Toole, said they wished to give Burger King lovers a little something extra this year, hence the “Most Whopper-ful Time of the Year” Advent Calendar. Next up: Woman Lives To 107, Even With 4-Inch ‘Longevity Horn’ Growing Out Of Her Head The post Burger King Fans Excited As Chain Releases First ‘Whimsical’ Holiday Item In 70 Years appeared first on DoYouRemember? - The Home of Nostalgia. Author, Peace A
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YubNub News
YubNub News
50 w

U.S. economic growth confirmed as weaker than expected just days before election
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yubnub.news

U.S. economic growth confirmed as weaker than expected just days before election

The U.S. economy grew at a rate of 2.8% in the third quarter of 2024, according to Bureau of Economic Analysis (BEA) statistics released Wednesday. The growth in the third quarter comes after a better-than-expected…
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YubNub News
YubNub News
50 w

House Republicans Subpoena ActBlue Records Over Alleged Foreign Election Interference Activities
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yubnub.news

House Republicans Subpoena ActBlue Records Over Alleged Foreign Election Interference Activities

House Republicans subpoenaed records from a prominent left-wing fundraising platform on Wednesday as part of their ongoing probe into alleged foreign election interference. “We cannot allow foreign…
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YubNub News
YubNub News
50 w

If Eric Weinstein Can’t Pick Between Kamala And Trump, Politics Is Out Of His League
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yubnub.news

If Eric Weinstein Can’t Pick Between Kamala And Trump, Politics Is Out Of His League

No matter how good the training, no matter how just the cause, no matter how tight the bonds of fellowship with comrades, when the shooting starts, some soldiers just don’t have the nerve for it. They…
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YubNub News
YubNub News
50 w

Kamala Collapse Continues: New Hampshire Shifts Away from Harris in Election Forecast
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yubnub.news

Kamala Collapse Continues: New Hampshire Shifts Away from Harris in Election Forecast

New Hampshire is now a tossup state after leaning toward Vice President Kamala Harris, RealClearPolitics forecasted on Thursday. The forecast suggests former President Donald Trump is expanding his path…
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