Just about everyone who has been married has been told countless times by older, more experienced couples that one of the most essential rules is, “Don’t go to bed angry.” They swear it’s best for a relationship to hash out the disagreement before bed and ensure it’s resolved before anyone gets any shut-eye.That advice makes a lot of sense. It’s hard to get to sleep after fighting with your significant other. The argument keeps playing over and over again in your head. You may be angry. You may be hurt. That’s a bad position to be in, if you need to get your 40 winks.However, making a big problem solvable by the time we go to bed is like watching a big family problem get fixed in 23 minutes on a sitcom. It's just not realistic. Some issues deserve more thought and conversation.Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University and a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at Northwestern University, recently made the case that it’s “loving” to go to bed angry in the caption of a myth-busting Instagram post. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Alexandra H Solomon, PhD (@dr.alexandra.solomon)Dr. Solomon is also the host of the “Reimagining Love Podcast,” where she challenges some of the questionable messages we’re given about love and relationships.“I’ve been a couples therapist for over a quarter of a century and I’m here to remind you that it’s OK to go to bed mad,” she wrote in the caption of a viral Instagram post. She adds that it can be “loving” to go to bed angry under the following circumstances:You’re exhausted.You don’t have privacy.You’ve been drinking or using drugsIt’s late and you’re talking in circlesOne of both of you has a big day tomorrowYou have little kids who’ll be up at the ass crack of dawn needing pancakesYou’re at risk of saying or doing something that you’ll regret because you’re upset and exhausted A couple fighting before bed.via Sasint/PixabayHowever, she also shared 5 reasons when it’s not OK to go to bed angry:Not every night, not even lots of nights.⁣Not to prove a point.⁣Not to get the upper hand.Not to punish your partnerNot to show your partner what a jerk they areDr. Solomon says being tired makes us more likely to make extreme arguments and be more hostile than when we are well-rested. She believes that when couples go to bed angry, they should do so consciously with their partners by calling a “time out” on the argument and acknowledging the difficult situation.“This is a really hard conversation,” or “I think we both feel pretty hurt and misunderstood,” you could say before tabling the discussion for the following day. You can also perform a loving gesture, such as getting your partner a glass of water or squeezing their foot before bed to let them know you are still safe.Relationship myths such as “don’t go to bed angry” can become a real problem for couples who fail to live up to what’s seen as the relationship gold standard. When couples violate the relationship commandment and go to bed angry, they blame themselves when really, they’re not doing anything wrong. Conflict is natural. So is being tired.That’s why Dr. Solomon’s myth-busting, Disney-did-us-wrong approach is so important."We grow up on this study stream of fairytales, song lyrics and romantic comedies that give us a view of love that is simplistic and unrealistic," says Dr. Solomon told Parade. "Then, when we bump into problems and challenges in our own lives, we end up feeling like we are the problem, rather than the myths being the problem." A couple fighting before bed.via RDNE Stock project/PexelsUltimately, relationships are complex, and myths such as “don’t go to bed angry” and the “happily ever after” story we’re told as children give us a false impression about what love and true partnership are all about. Then, when we fail to meet those expectations, we find fault in ourselves and our partners."Going to bed mad is painful enough on its own," Dr. Solomon says. "It feels lonely. It feels yucky. To add another layer of shame—[that] somehow this is wrong, I'm wrong, you're wrong, we're wrong—makes a hard thing harder."Dr. Solomoan wants us all to realize that relationships are complex. So there’s nothing wrong with giving each other a break and sleeping on it for a night.

The catalyst for future classics. The post ‘Gumboots’: The song that made Paul Simon to create ‘Graceland’ first appeared on Far Out Magazine.

Thundermother’s sixth studio set, “Dirty & Divine, will drop February 7th, 2025. The set introduces new members; frontwoman Linnea Vikström Egg and drummer Joan Massing. It also marks the return of bassist Majsan Lindberg. This time last year, singer Guernica Mancini, drummer Emlee Johansson and Lindgren exited the band forming The Gems. At the same time, guitarist Filippa Nässil said that she would continue with a new Thundermother – which she has. “There is still that genuine Thundermother feeling, with my guitar playing and all of that,” says Filippa. “It’s still got a ’70s vibe, but the melodies are catchier and the vocals are obviously different. We’re always evolving, never standing still. I think this is the best album we’ve made so far.” The album’s lead single is “So Close.” “‘So Close’ was so close to not being included on the album,” added Flippa. “But when we recorded it live in the studio after all the other songs were done, it turned out so well that it made it across the finish line. It seems we might have stumbled upon a hit.” . “Dirty & Divine” Tracks: 01. So Close02. Can’t Put Out The Fire03. Speaking of the Devil04. Feeling Alright05. Take The Power06. I Left My License in the Future07. Dead Or Alive08. Can You Feel It09. Bright Eyes10. American Adrenaline Thundermother: Linnea Vikström Egg -VocalsFilippa Nässil – GuitarMajsan Lindberg – BassJoan Massing -Drums ### The post Thundermother’s New Album appeared first on RockinTown.

by Mac Slavo, SHTF Plan: Fiscal Year 2025’s National Defense Authorization Act’s Senate version contains an important item that is being ignored—young women between the ages of 18-26 will be automatically registered for the draft. Previously, the House version of the NDAA passed (217-199) on June 14 and provisioned for the automatic registration of 18-26 year old men for the draft, […]

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