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Grandma has the perfect solution for grandparents who buy too many gifts for their grandkids
DeeDee Moore, a grandma behind the website More Than Grand, recently shared on the organization's TikTok account that “too much stuff” given from grandparents to their grandkids is one of the main sources of holiday frustration for parents.
“75% of the parents that we surveyed wished grandparents would respect their wishes about gifts,” she explained, noting that while there are myriad reasons why this would be the case, the most common one (and incidentally the one most "waved off” by the grandparents) is the lack of physical space to accommodate.
However, when Moore breaks down the math, it’s a bit hard to deny.
“Say your grandson has four other grandparents and four aunts and uncles. Each of these people get him one gift for a second birthday. That’s already nine gifts plus something for mom and dad. We’re up to 10,” she said.
“If all of those grandparents buy him three things, and two of the aunts get him a little extra something, that’s 22 presents for a 2 year old who would be just as happy with a box.”
Yikes, gotta admit that’s a lot. And that’s not counting the additional problems too much gift-giving can incite listed on the More Than Grand website, which included:
Undermining the parent’s values that they are trying to instill to their childrenDamaging a child’s ability to use their imaginationNormalizing overconsumptionTeaching children to associate seeing grandma or grandpa with getting a gift, rather than focusing on the actual relationship
These are all good points, and yet, what to do with all those good intentions and a desire to spoil some precious little nugget? Luckily, Moore has the perfect fix.
“While your grandchildren are faced with getting too many gifts, many children are in the opposite situation. Take some of the things you bought to Toys for Tots or another organization that provides gifts for less fortunate families.”
This allows folks to step into the “true spirit of giving,” Moore concluded.
Viewers by and large seemed to agree, though many also noted how powerful experiential or future-building gifts could be, even if they're not as cute as toys.
“My in-laws opened up a college fund for both my kids. Instead of stuff they put more money in the account. I’m so grateful!” one person wrote.
Another added, “I am giving experiences and putting money in an account for future needs (college, 1st house, starting business, etc).”
In the vein, here are two other tips grandparents can use for intentional gift-giving…
First and foremost: open up a discussion with the parents. See if they need help with a big ticket item, find out which hobby or sport the child is interested in, ask what’s a definite “no.” this can save a lot of headaches for everyone.
Second: prioritize memories over stuff. A trip to the zoo, an education membership, a ticket for two to the movies…these are often the gifts that truly keep on giving.
And grandparents, don’t forget: just because you’re honoring boundaries, it doesn't mean you have to pass up that sweet little something you see in the aisles. It can easily go to a little one who could really use it. For even more tip on all things grandparenting, give More Than Grand a follow here.
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