There's a fascinating idea in psychology called "enmeshment." Essentially, it's when two people or things mesh together, the boundaries between them becoming blurred.This can happen in families, romantic relationships, and even your career! People who work long hours or have demanding careers can be at risk of losing sight of their independent sense of self. They can almost literally forget that they have an identity outside of work. It can happen in school, too, for people who are overly driven by academic achievement.It should go without saying, but this is generally a bad thing. Enmeshment in career or academics can lead to anxiety, depression, and have adverse effects on your relationships.Plus, it's just no fun. All work and no play...A recent thread on AskReddit challenged this phenomenon with the question: What is your biggest non-academic, non work-related accomplishment?If you're like me, you probably had to stop and think for a minute before coming up with something. Which should maybe be a warning sign that we could all use a little more balance.Some of the non-work accomplishments people shared were staggering.A few superhumans among us found time to run marathons and otherwise push the limits of what humans can achieve.All while holding down schoolwork and jobs! Photo by Kalen Emsley on Unsplash I'm not sure it counts as an accomplishment, but I bicycled across the US from Bar Harbor, Maine to Seattle, Washington - cochese25My eldest child was diagnosed with classic autism when he was 18 months old. My ex husband and I were told he would never talk, never walk and never toilet himself it was so severe. 16 years later after utilising all therapy and taking years off work focusing on him. He is off to university next year on a full scholarship studying bio-medical science and physics. I am so proud of the work we did together to get him here. - notjustanotherdinoHiking all 2,356 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail - jebrennanI transitioned from female to male. 3 years later I’m still so happy that I did that for myself. - eclecticevergreenMy band supported Everclear and we played a great show to a full house in Australia - just_yallBut, if you ask me, the tiny goals people shared were even more inspiring.Almost everywhere you look, there's an opportunity to do something just for you. Photo by Ross Sneddon on Unsplash Learning how to swim as an adult. It took me about 6 months to learn and I'm now able to swim confidently in the pool. - moon_jewel90Over 300 days in a row of at least 10 minutes of meditation. - fast-artichoke-7512That my wife and I have been married for over 30 years and she hasn't killed me yet. - dreadpirategriswoldSome of the achievements were really, really small.I have 3 subscribers on youtube :) - armadillo_activeCompleted a 5000 piece puzzle. - ritaredditonceBut, hey, they still count!How to come up with goals to pursue outside of work and schoolAs we can see, it could be anything, big or small. Any achievement at all that you can make time for is worth being proud of — and is a great investment in your mental wellness.But "anything" is an overwhelming concept. So here's somewhere to start.Jeffrey Davis, a workplace culture expert, suggests a framework called LOW goals — Life Outside of Work.He writes that the best goals are "down-to-earth, grounded, and achievable" and advises to start with ideas that are based on:ConnectionOpenness & Creativityor CuriosityYou could also try pushing yourself physically (getting to the gym) or mentally (solo-ing the New York Times crossword puzzle).And remember, there's no Win too small to count! Whatever you do, it's important to think about what brings you happiness and what your values are, and then come up with a way to better live those values. That's how a strong sense of self is created.While the average American technically works fewer hours than we did several decades ago, we're rarely fully unplugged. Finding time to pursue our goals and hobbies without distraction is harder to come by than ever, which also means it's never been more important.

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by Tom Luongo, Tom Luongo: November 5th, 2024 isn’t just Guy Fawkes Day in the UK. It’s not just the day of the US Presidential Election. It’s the day we figure out just how far we’ve come in wresting control of The Wire from the forces of control who believe they are entitled to rule from their […]