We've come a long way toward gender equality in the past century, but there's still a lot of room for improvement, especially when it comes to shared parenting roles.Even in households where couples try for equitable distribution of responsibilities, one parent generally ends up as the "default parent"—the one who keeps track of things like clothing sizes and routine appointments and the one people look to first when they need to ask a question. Most of the time, moms are viewed as the default parent, whether or not that's actually the reality. And on the flip side of that, dads are often assumed to be disengaged and clueless about their kids.A story shared by a dad on Reddit who shared a story about being dismissed by doctors during an emergency room visit highlights this issue:"Went to the emergency with my son and wife, he had an emergency food allergic reaction. Dr comes in and looks at us both and says 'Mom come out and fill this paperwork, probably know more than Dad.' While my wife was out of the room filling out paperwork a different Dr came up with a medical wristband and asked me to check if the info was correct. Before I could finish checking the spelling of his name he pulled it back stating 'I should ask mom, Dads never know.' I do know everything though." from mildlyinfuriating His frustration is understandable. This is a dad who is involved, engaged and knowledgeable about his kids. It's not okay for someone to just assume he wouldn't know anything. At the same time, there's a reason for the assumption, as unjust as it feels for this father. Medical professionals explained that dads not knowing their kids' information is a genuine problemFor responsible dads, this may be a hard pill to swallow, but according to doctors, nurses and other medical professionals, the stereotype of the clueless dad is alarmingly close to reality. A lot of dads don't know their kids' birth dates, full name spelling or important health information like allergies. In fact, some doctors shared that a surprising number of men don't even know anything about their own health history or conditions, instead relying on their wives to keep track of those things. "I work in a medical field. I never assume the father knows nothing and I’ve met many fathers who were involved and knew all the relevant information. But I’ve also met fathers who genuinely didn’t know their kid’s birthday or when their last check up was or if they had any allergies. I’ve also met fathers who looked at me like I was mad for expecting them to know this. I’ve only ever met one mother like that.""ER nurse here. Although it's unacceptable for them to assume dad is clueless, I understand why they do it. I can't tell you how many kids I've checked in with dad who doesn't even know their birthday, how old they are, or why they even brought them in. On the other hand, mom knows everything about the kid 99.9% of the time. That being said, I would never just dismiss dad right to his face. That's very rude.""I guess you’d be surprised how many dads don’t know the answers to basic medical questions like DOB, allergies, height, weight. It’s super common, and yes, quite disheartening." Apparently a lot of dads don't know much of their kids' basic info.Photo credit: Canva"I recently started working in healthcare and it is shocking. I expected that sort of disinterest from older, more traditional parents, but they’re my age or younger. I just falsely believed that our generation would be better about stuff like that.""When any parent (almost always dad) doesn’t know the answer to something like a birthday or medical complaint, I don’t just laugh it off like some of my coworkers do. I want them to look me right in the eye and tell me that they don’t remember their kid’s birthday. I’m polite about it, but I’m certainly not saying 'it’s okay, don’t worry about it.' They should know.""Same. I've also had male patients who have no clue on what's going on with themselves health wise and just straight up tell me to ask their wife.They have zero clue on what meds they are taking, what those meds are for, what surgeries they've had in the past or why... it's like they don't think this information is important enough for them to know? So of course these guys wouldn't be able to tell you a thing about their own kids when they nothing about their own health. There are men who aren't this way of course. But too goddamn many of them have zero pertinent information in their skulls.""The stereotype doesn't exist for no reason. I encountered so many dads who don't know their kid's DOB, social, allergies, medical history, immunizations, medications, school info, teachers, daily habits (like bedtime or diet), and so on.Even worse they would sometimes lie or minimize rather than admit they don't know.Sometimes they would eventually say stuff like 'Well the doctors said it's asthma but I think he just doesn't like running for sports' or 'He used to have some weird allergy thing, I don't know what it was, but it's better now' and the wife would shout 'YEAH IT'S BETTER BECAUSE HE TAKES 6 PILLS A DAY FOR IT.' I rarely encountered this behavior with mothers.Sorry you were judged based on the actions of others. That sucks and it's not fair. Doctors have to be very pragmatic though and they will cut to the most reliable source of info, which is usually mom."It's not just ignorant dads who perpetuate the problem.Men definitely need to step up their game here, but that's not the only change that needs to happen. Society's low expectations and assumptions that moms are the only ones in the know also need to shift so that dads who do step up aren't fighting an uphill battle of their own. "What's frustrating is that people essentially help to make the stereotype true when they default to the mom for things. My wife tends to know better about what's going on with the kids at school and their extracurricular activities, but it's because teachers/staff/whoever will prefer to reach out to her about things first, and maybe sometimes I'll be included in an email here and there. Even when my name has been listed first on their contact info, my wife is the first choice to contact about most anything… Not all dads are clueless about their kids, however.Photo credit: Canva"And you know what? My wife hates it that she's the one always being contacted about everything. That's why we usually list me first or as the primary contact whenever they want parent contact information. 95% of the time, they still default to mom. I'm not stupid and aloof. My wife isn't always available to read emails and respond to things in a timely manner. She doesn't want to always be available. I don't want to always be available either, but I'm available the vast majority of the time.""My husband is a stay at home dad. When the kid was in public school we had him as contact. Even called and had them make sure they noted it. They still always would call me first.""I'm a dad who generally knows more about the children in these situations than the mom, so I completely get the frustration. It’s prejudice, pure and simple. And I dislike the dads that helped establish that stereotype. My dad didn’t fit the stereotype either.""My husband was a stay at home dad when our kids were younger, everyone knew (school, other parents), but still they always tried to reach me first if e.g one of the kids was sick and had to be picked up, to arrange for playdates and so on. 'Thanks, let me try and reach husband because I'm at work and at least 1hr drive away, I can't really speak to what he can/can't do right now.'Will admit that sometimes I do the exact same with other moms in similar positions, even though I'm aware, ugh. Typical gender role expectations are so ingrained into all of us somehow, even if we don't like it ourselves. I hope the next generation will be less stuck in their expectations."Should we celebrate dads who actually keep track of their kids' basic info? For now, yes.It may seem silly to praise dads for something as basic as knowing their own kids' birthday, but considering how many stories of clueless dads were in that thread, it seems to be warranted. Having low expectations and complaining about them doesn't seem to help, so maybe celebrating dads who defy the stereotype will help raise the standard. "See the glass as half full—as a Dad (I am), if you have even the first clue about any of this stuff you get a gold star for trying when, in the exact same circumstances, they’d probably be calling CPS on the mom. And if you meet the 'mom' standard, you’re on your way to the Nobel Prize for Dadding.""Dad's like you are amazing. My dad was The Dad. He bought me pads and tampons when needed. He knew when I needed a break from my mom and brothers. He would take me out of school to go fishing or hunting. He was the first person to hold his grandson, and he cut his umbilical cord. He made many mistakes but being my father is not one of them.My father became my dad when I was 3 years old. He is my example of what a man and father should be."Finally, someone summed up the gist of the issue: "Nobody wins in the patriarchy." Not moms, not dads, not kids. So kudos to the original poster for pointing out an unfair prejudice, the commenters who explained where it comes from and everyone working to change the status quo. Hopefully conversations like this will help us make more progress on that front.

Marriage can take many forms, but at least one thing remains true no matter what the relationship looks like—the goal is to have a partner that actually makes your life better. That sounds easy enough, but it’s actually not so easy to decipher sometimes. But one mom’s advice that worked on her own kids sounds pretty sound for everyone. She calls it her “50 Christmases Rule.” In a clip posted to her TikTok, Erin Bruce, a mom of four, explained that, “I always told my kids that whoever you marry is going to make the family gathering on Christmas morning better for 50 years or worse for 50 years. You are not just choosing someone that you are attracted to ... You’re choosing someone that’s going to enhance or destroy Christmas for the next 50 years.” This is advice her kids luckily listened to, and to great success with their own partners. Bruce then said, “It’s better when spouses are…peacemakers. They add a lot of joy and fun, and great conversation. They’re great listeners, they bridge things, they ask questions, they bring joy, they’re not moody, they’re positive, they’re helpful. So when you’re looking for someone you’re looking for someone that does all those things for the family.” @erinbrucexo ♬ original sound - Erin Bruce ??♀️ With such a highly relatable metaphor, it’s hard not to take in this wisdom in a whole new way. No matter what significance you infuse into the holidays, odds are you experience it every year in one way or another, and probably want the day to be pleasant. If so, you’d probably want your partner to help bring in some of that good cheer, rather than bring the vibes down. Folks in the comment section—particularly those who have had not-so-great partners in this arena—couldn't agree more. “I was married less than a year,” one person shared. “The Thanksgiving and Christmas I had while married were two of the worst days of my life.”Another added, “I have deep regrets of not thinking about this when I got married at 23. I was so young I didn’t realize it.”Still another pointed out that it might not be the partner themselves, but the partner’s family, that causes the issue, saying, “Before you go falling in love with him, find out if his mom is nuts. My MIL made a lot of Christmases worse.”Some argued that this rule could go for any family function. One person said, “also vacations, choosing the wrong person can make family vacations horrible.”There were also plenty of positive examples reiterating Bruce’s point. One person shared, “Yes! My two brothers married the best women and they have been such a blessing to our family! They enhance our family so much!”Some perspective to chew on, for sure. Whether you’re in a committed relationship or seeking one. And just in time for the approaching holidays.

One of the hallmarks of today's younger generations is that they have a greater awareness and acceptance of mental health issues than generations past. That's a good thing overall, with therapy and treatment for anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses being destigmatized. There are some pitfalls that have come along with the wave of awareness and knowledge, but even so, it's a far cry from the way mental health used to be handled. Gen Xers and boomers are sharing how they handled anxiety and depression growing up and it's a testament to how far we've come in managing mental health. Those of us who grew up in those years remember how mental health wasn't talked about at all, and if it was, it was either to make fun of someone who was "crazy" or to side-eye people who needed therapy. The idea that seeing a psychologist isn't all that different than seeing a doctor for a physical ailment was unheard of. It may be a bit depressing, but here's how those who grew up in the 70s—so Gen Xers and younger boomers—say they handled anxiety and depression when they were growing up. (And yes, there's a whole lot of Gen X sarcasm in these responses. We had to put all that angst somewhere.)We 'sucked it up.'There's no more classic phrase than "suck it up" to sum up the attitude toward anxiety and depression back in the day."We were told suck it up. You're fine. There was no such thing as depression or anxiety then.""Suck it up. Get over it. You think you're special? Life isn't fair, get used to it. Edit to add a forgotten favorite: No one wants to hear your whining.""'Suck it up' was the recommendation.""This is what I came here to say - you just sucked it up a dealt with it."via GIPHYWe just 'stopped being so sensitive,' etc.So many sayings are familiar to folks who dealt with untreated mental health issues…"I didn't have depression. I just need to stop being so sensitive. My mom repeatedly told me so.""Don't forget 'you're a kid what do you have to be stressed about?!' Or 'wait til you're an adult then you'll know what REAL problems are.'""I didn't have depression OR anxiety. I was also just too sensitive, and timid, and dramatic, and overly emotional, nervous and lazy. I just needed to smile more so other people would think I was happy until I actually was happy!""'Making mountains out of molehills...'""I read too much and had an overactive imagination.""I let the little things bother me. Silly child."We didn't talk about it.Surely if we just don't talk about it, then it isn't a problem, right?"No one talked about mental health. Even if a teen died from suicide, they just kept quiet, like if we ignore it, the kids will be better off.""This was true if someone also attempted suicide. That person was seen as being mentally weak. Most people who attempt suicide either had mental health issues or other issues in their lives which weren't being addressed. Sucking it up doesn't work in those situations.If you attempted suicide when I was a teen, you were taken to a mental health facility and usually you didn't return to school. The few people in high school that I had heard about who attempted suicide (none of them were successful) never return to school after the incident. It was hushed up.""Yeah, we had a couple suicides at my high school. The kids knew. Hell, in one case it was a twin whose brother still went to school. You didn't talk about it. Nobody talked about it."via GIPHYWe pulled weeds.Pulling weeds is not a cure for anxiety or depression, but compared to most of the other things on this list, it at least had a little bit of therapeutic merit. "I just suffered. And according to my parents, I was just fine and needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and go pull weeds." "Go pull weeds ??, yes it was a thing.""I didn’t realize 'pulling weeds' was a popular thing of the times! I thought it was just my Dad making us earn our keep. lol Pulling weeds was like an escape for me. Quiet, outdoors, I think it helped my depression!""It was a thing for us Gen Xers as kids growing up. Lol Complaining of boredom? No plans with friends? Feeling sad and lonely?... Go pull weeds and collect rocks from the garden.""The soil actually has feel good chemicals in it. I definitely feel better gardening, stuff like that. But yeah, I still get depressed as shit still, I'll watch movies and stuff, kind of helps. You may get some wisdom from a line in a movie that stays with you. :)"We self-medicated.Sadly, there were a lot of substance use and addictive behaviors that came out of those generations as they dealt with their issues through "self-medication.""Substance abuse. I was a straight A student, active in sports, pretty popular, and I was bombed or high almost every day. Pressure lead to anxiety which led to depression but I found shit didn’t hurt as bad if I added weed, booze, or pills to my daily diet. I also learned that if you had the grades nobody cared, parents, teachers, administrators.It all came to a head in my 20’s, life pretty much fell apart after college. I sobered up in my early thirties and learned some coping skills along the way. Life turned out pretty damn good and I am pleased with the person I became.""As a teen in the 70's, I self medicated. Looking back on it now, I had few tools to deal with the crushing depression and anxiety I had. The drugs (weed, amphetamines) and alcohol took the edge off. Some nights, I would lay in bed and cry myself to sleep.""Alcohol, cigarettes, wouldn't eat food for days at a time. It seemed like an okay thing to do at the time. Looking back I wonder why someone didn't intervene.""Good old fashioned eating disorder!"Music. (Seriously, though.) Perhaps there's a reason music was so good in that era…"Music, first and foremost,still to this day.""Ahhh, yes. The music was amazing at the time.""Yes. Listening to music and just sitting in my room for hours a day learning how to play the guitar. Whenever I had my guitar in my hands I felt at peace and I would always feel much better after playing for awhile. It was like therapy, a way for me to get my emotions out without talking.""Music was it for me too. No matter how bad my day was, I knew I could go into my bedroom at night, put an album on the record player, plug in my headphones and enter a world where no one could find me. It was bliss. Music is still my safe place all these decades later.""Music was the ONLY thing that helped me through some very dark times. I felt utterly disconnected from my peers and only music made me feel like I belonged."via GIPHYThank goodness we've got so many more tools in our toolbelt these days. Though we still have a lot to learn about mental health and how to treat mental illnesses and disorders, at least we know they're real and are openly talking about them. It's good to see how far we've come from the "suck it up, buttercup" days.

Here at Upworthy we look for stories that will make you smile and warm your heart and, let’s face it, we could all use a little help in the smile department these days. When we ran across this ridiculously sweet story on The Dodo about a golden retriever and his little human sister, we simply had to share it with you. Taco is a 3-year-old golden retriever who has been lovingly waiting for his new baby sister, Vanora, to be able to play with him, and the day has finally come.Claudia Hughes is the proud mom of the furry pup and his squishy human sibling. She told The Dodo that Taco has been smitten with Vanora since she came home from the hospital. “When we would lay her down on the floor or our bed, Taco would just lay down next to her,” Hughes said. That’s one attentive pup. Pet parents know there’s nothing more comforting than your fur baby looking out for your human baby. See on Instagram Hughes told The Dodo that the pooch would even get up for late-night feedings. Now that’s just beyond sweet. It’s no wonder the pup was itching for his playmate to get big enough to actually play with, and his reaction to his doggy dreams coming true is pure joy. The video of Taco seeing his toddler sibling taking some of her first steps has amassed more than 2 million likes on TikTok. Finally his sister can run around with him! Finally he can teach her the fun of having a dog for a big brother. Finally he gets to play! At least, that’s what I think he was thinking from his excited reaction.And how do we know dogs are excited? Well, they get the zoomies, and if you’ve never been able to witness the absolute unadulterated joy of the zoomies, just check out his reaction in the video. If he could talk he would have probably screamed “I’m so excited!!!” with more explanation points than allowed by my editor. @mostlyadorable It’s fun having each other ???. #dogsandbabies #goldensandbabies #babiesoftiktok #dogsoftiktokviral #SmoothLikeNitroPepsi According to Hughes, Taco first started getting excited when he saw Vanora take steps in her walker, and more so when he saw her pushing the walker. But his excitement went off the charts when she could actually take steps unassisted. Don’t worry though, he was sure to keep his distance so as not to knock her down. He’s such a good doggy brother. Hughes told The Dodo, “We have shown Vanora that we hug Taco, we pet him gently and we give him kisses on his head.” She went on to say, “But if we get mad at him, we don’t hit him.”It looks like both Taco and Vanora have learned important lessons in kindness. Soon Vanora will be the one cheering and praising Taco when he’s a good boy, but until then, we here at Upworthy want to tell Taco that he’s the goodest boy and he deserves all of the head pats. Good boy, Taco!This article originally appeared on 6.29.22

An odd trinket bought at a thrift shop turns out to be a bona fide antique. A small fortune is found stashed inside a piece of furniture on the side of the road. These are the magical jackpot moments that seem almost too good to be true. And yet, real stories like these keep the hope alive in our hearts. In September 2017, auto mechanic Jared Whipple received a call from a friend about an abandoned barn house in Watertown, Connecticut, filled with several large canvases, each with bold colorful displays of car parts. Considering Whipple’s line of work, along with his general love for vintage items, the friend thought the artwork would be of interest to him. See on Instagram By the time Whipple arrived on the site, all the pieces had been disposed of into a dumpster (next stop: landfill) and were covered in debris and mold. Luckily, each was individually wrapped in plastic. Curious, Whipple began to unwrap a few of the canvases to get a better look. Not only were they in good condition, but the quality of art was impeccable. Whipple immediately wanted to know more about the creator of these lovely works. The answers didn’t come easy. In fact, the research ended up taking Whipple four years, but here’s what he found: See on Instagram The works were created by Francis Mattson Hines. And he wasn’t exactly a no name. According to the Mattatuck Museum, Hines’ big claim to fame was weaving giant pieces of diaphanous fabrics around the Washington Square Arch in geometric patterns back in 1980. And though his story was publicly recognized in books and documentaries, much of Hines’ fame had diminished by the time of his death in 2016. Hence the less-than-fruitful Google search.“Not only was this artist a ‘someone,’ but he was even more well known in the New York art world than we could ever have imagined,” said Whipple. See on Instagram CT Insider reported that Whipple has collaborated with art gallery Hollis Taggart to give Hines’ work the proper respect and celebration it deserves, setting up a large exhibit in both Southport, Connecticut, and New York City. Each one will showcase 35 to 40 pieces, all available for sale. And just how much will a Francis Hines piece go for? CT Insider also spoke with art curator and historian Peter Hastings Falk, who estimated that his drawings could go for $4,500, and wrapped paintings around $22,000. This makes the entire collection, full of hundreds of pieces, worth millions of dollars. That’s right. What nearly went into a trash heap is now valued at a mega fortune level. Go ahead. Pick up your jaw from the floor and read that again. Of course, selling the art isn’t Whipple’s main focus. In addition to keeping some pieces for himself that he fell in love with, Whipple aims to work with major galleries in New York to establish Francis Hines as “a significant artist of the 20th and 21st century.” The mechanic-turned-art-dealer told CT Insider his new purpose "is to get Hines into the history books.”This article originally appeared on 4.11.22

Might we never really pass on into nothingness? Has the world ended many times before? Are we in fact doomed to spend eternity unknowingly jumping from one dimension to the next? According to one TikTok theory, the answer is yes. And it's blowing millions of minds worldwide. Joli Moli (@joli.artist) is quite used to spooking and perplexing viewers with conspiracy theories and alternative hot takes. In her video titled "Apocalypse...again," Joli introduced the concept of Hugh Everett's quantum immortality. @joli.artist ##mandelaeffect ##apocalypse ##atworldsend ##quantumphysics ##quantumimmortality ##ChimeHasYourBack ##manyworlds ♬ Horror, suspense, weirdness, ghost, UFO - Zassh Fans of the Marvel "multiverse," are quite familiar with this concept, where instead of experiencing death, "your consciousness just gets transferred to a parallel universe where you survived," the TikTokker explained. Joli admits that this might burst the bubbles of those seeking the "sweet relief" of a widespread apocalypse. "If the quantum immortality theory is correct," she deduced, "you're just going to wake up in a parallel universe with no memory of the fact that you just survived an apocalyptic event." According to Joli, the only sort of clue or hint you'd get that you might have woken up in a parallel world would be "new Mandela effects." You know, the strange phenomenon where all of a sudden there are two completely opposing memories of historical events? Yeah, quantum theory says that if you remember Curious George having a tail, you probably died in another universe. Driving her point home, Joli added: "What I'm basically implying here is that in our reality, apocalypses happen every day … after the inevitable apocalypse occurs, you're going to wake up the next day in a new reality, and the next thing you know, you're going to find yourself on Reddit talking about 'since when did Pizza Hut have two Ts?!' Arguing with people who are native of this new reality, talking about 'it's always had two Ts'." I for one would never want to live in a Pizza Hutt universe. Blech. Still not sold on the theory? Joli has further arguments: "You don't believe me? Okay, it's been about 65 million years since the asteroids allegedly took out the dinosaurs. ... So you mean to tell me that in the last 65 million years, no other asteroids have come through the neighborhood, taken us out? You think we're just that lucky, huh? No other super volcanic events in 65 million years? We're just out there in space just dodging asteroids by luck, right? Earth doesn't have a steering wheel."Hmmm. That's a good point. Joli concluded with the upbeat sentiment that "Earth is probably always being taken out, and our consciousness just keeps getting transferred to another parallel universe, and another one, and another one. For all you know, the apocalypse maybe already happened last night…" So far, in this reality anyway, the video has 4.9 million views. And—as to be expected—the video left many feeling uneasy.One user commented, "Ok, I'm actually kind of freaking out right now coz I'm not the conspiracy typa guy, but you're like eerily making sense."A few resorted to sarcasm as a defense mechanism (understandably), like this Twitterer: "Thanks I was overdue for another existential crisis."The discourse got so intense, people were reporting physical side effects from the stress. One person wrote: "The thought of never being able to actually die is extremely depressing, and it's giving me a headache."Another added, "Bruh, I'm just done with this anxiety. My body [is] emotionally [and] physically TIREDDD."One commenter, who clearly had their priorities straight, wrote: "You're over here talking about extinction level events and I'm having to check on the two Ts in Pizza Hut."It wasn't all gloom and doom though. According to indy100, some saw the potential of eternal life as a comfort against the loss of loved ones, while others finally got to make sense of their "world-ending" dreams. If you have watched the original TikTok and are filled with burning questions, Joli posted a follow up Q&A video. A small disclaimer: You might be left with even more questions. Though we may never really know what awaits us on the other side, it is interesting to think that we might live in a multiverse with infinite second chances. And whether or not this theory floats your metaphysical boat, it's fun to contemplate on one of life's biggest mysteries.This article originally appeared on 10.18.21

Several years ago, you wouldn't have known what QAnon was unless you spent a lot of time reading through comments on Twitter or frequented internet chat rooms. Now, with prominent Q adherents making headlines for storming the U.S. Capitol and elements of the QAnon worldview spilling into mainstream politics, the conspiracy theory/doomsday cult has become a household topic of conversation.Many of us have watched helplessly as friends and family members fall down the rabbit hole, spewing strange ideas about Democrats and celebrities being pedophiles who torture children while Donald Trump leads a behind-the-scenes roundup of these evil Deep State actors. Perfectly intelligent people can be susceptible to conspiracy theories, no matter how insane, which makes it all the more frustrating.A person who was a true believer in QAnon mythology (which you can read more about here) recently participated in an "Ask Me Anything" thread on Reddit, and what they shared about their experiences was eye-opening. The writer's Reddit handle is "diceblue," but for simplicity's sake we'll call them "DB."DB explained that they weren't new to conspiracy theories when QAnon came on the scene. "I had been DEEP into conspiracy for about 8 years," they wrote. "Had very recently been down the ufo paranormal rabbit hole so when Q really took off midterm for trump I 'did my research' and fell right into it."DB says they were a true believer until a couple of years ago when they had an experience that snapped them out of it:"It was a couple of posts made by Q on the chans that seemed highly suspicious because of how ignorant they were of technology. Q posts often had weird syntax as a kind of codeKind Of [writing like this] as if there was [a secret] in using brackets To Tell The Truth.One morning Q claimed to have shut down 7 FBI super computers (named after the seven dwarves no less) via satellite hacking and all the rabid fans ate it up, claiming that "their internet was running a little bit faster)FBI Super Computer ::SLEEPY::[[OFFLINE]]alarm bells went off in my head because, come on, that's not how any of this works. Using elementary school syntax form To SpeLl a [[Secret Code ]] felt fishy, and claiming your email in rural Montana loaded faster because seven super computers got shut down by remote hacking was a bridge too far for me. I realized that most of the Q believers I had seen were Boomers with no idea how technology works or people my age with no idea how computers operate. That day, I Googled Q Anon Debunked and got out."If simply Googling "QAnon Debunked" were enough to get QAnoners to deprogram themselves, why don't more of them do it? That's the tricky part. DB explains several elements to Q belief that keeps people in it. A big part of what primed DB to accept conspiracy thinking was a fundamentalist Christian upbringing. "Theories about evil evolution, science denial and The End of The world rapture return of Christ stuff is all pretty crazy too," wrote DB, who moved to a more progressive version of Christianity after leaving QAnon behind. "There's a strong link between the two." There's also some "perverse comfort" in conspiracy theories like QAnon, DB wrote, "because of the false sense of order and purpose it brings to the world. Either the world is a boardgame chess match between Good and Evil forces working behind the scenes, and you might be a pawn but at least you are on The Right Side or you admit that the world is a mess, nobody is in charge, there is no grand battle of good and evil behind the scenes and your life has less purpose and order than you hoped."They also said overconfidence and arrogance play a big role in people staying in the QAnon world, as well as the belief that you are the one engaging in critical thinking while everyone else is a mindless sheep."At this point the problem isn't Q, it's gullible people who lack critical thinking skills and gain a massive ego boost in thinking they have secret in that the sheeple don't know," DB wrote. "Worth noting, conspiracy thinking hooks the brain because it feels like critical thinking. Even though it isn't." That piece right there really is key. As another user explained, the "do your own research" concept works to reinforce conspiracy theories while making people think they're coming to conclusions on their own, thanks to the way search engines and social media algorithms work:"The idea behind the 'research' is that you are more likely to believe a source if YOU stumble upon it yourself vs if I tell you -go watch this video.So if I tell you Hillary is a lizard person, watch this video ... It's easy to watch and dismiss me as a crazy that saw a dumb video. BUT ... if I tell you Hillary is a lizard person, but don't take my word for it - google it yourself.... and you come across hundreds of videos and articles about Hillary being a lizard person - that makes it all the more believable. Especially since there's so many articles saying Hillary is NOT a lizard person. If it wasn't true, why would people be making videos and articles 'debunking' it?And the debunk articles are appearing higher in searches than the articles saying she is. Why is that? Is big tech in on it to ....and you see where this is going.So their 'research' is just a way of manipulating people." DB shared that it was hard to admit that they'd been played by a baseless conspiracy theory. "It's NOT easy realizing you've been conned, been a rube, been taken in," they wrote. "It was massively humbling to realize I'd been a sucker."However, they are also surprised to see how much "crazier" QAnon has gotten, as when they left a couple of years ago they were "certain it would all be over soon." They weren't a "storm the Capitol" kind of believer, but rather a "snicker quietly to myself in my bedroom because those sheeple don't know the truth" type.DB explained that they keep themselves away from the edge of the rabbit hole now by embracing doubt and different ideas and have added "some fucking worldview humility" to their life."The problem with fundamentalist religions, cults, and conspiracy theories is they all demonize doubt and are all so absolutely certain that they have the total truth of reality figured out. I hold my beliefs much more humbly now, I acknowledge that I could be wrong," they wrote."I read more widely and expose myself to the ideas of others, so that I don't end up in an echo chamber."As for how to help others get out? DB said that arguing with a QAnon adherent, especially online, is a waste of time—and their simple explanation for why makes perfect sense: "I don't think they can be reasoned out of beliefs they were not reasoned into." There's no way to rationalize with irrational beliefs, unfortunately. DB suggests if you have loved ones who've fallen down the rabbit hole that you maybe try asking them questions using Street Epistemology techniques (which you can read about here), avoid confronting and trying to reason with them (because it's simply not effective), and continue loving them (while setting boundaries about what you're willing to listen to) so they have a stable place to land if and when they are able to extricate themselves. You can read the entire Reddit thread of Q and A here. As frustrating as it is to see people we know fall for kooky conspiracy theories, seeing that it's possible for someone to get out offers a ray of hope that they aren't necessarily gone for good.This article originally appeared on 1.26.21

About a quarter of people with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) are nonverbal, and while that number seems high, there's been sharp decline from a generation ago when the number was closer to half.This positive shift is due to an increase in studies on ASD which have resulted in more effective therapeutic strategies. Children with ASD are often nonverbal, but many go onto acquire language skills. Up to 70% of nonverbal children become fluent speakers or can use simple phrases.Having a child that is nonverbal or speech-delayed is terribly frustrating because you want them to be able to clearly communicate how they're feeling emotionally and physically. It's also very hard to see them interact with other children without being able to express their full selves like everyone else.So when a child with autism spectrum disorder makes their first language breakthrough it's a monumental moment for themselves and those close to them.Photographer Haley McGuire shared her son Micah's wonderful achievement on TikTok and the inspiring video has been favorited over 730,000 times. The first video she shared was of Micah repeating the names of his family members as they cheer in the background. Every time Micah gets a name right, he leaps in excitement and beams with pure pride. @haley_mcguire_photo We love you, Micah ? ##autisim ##autistiktok ##fyp ##learningtospeak ♬ Iris - Natalie Taylor Since the video was first recorded, Micah has shown no signs of slowing his progress."It's been a day and a half now, and everything we ask him to say, he's copying," McGuire told Newsweek. "He's not going out of his way to say anything on his own, but he's literally copying everything we say, which is crazy because he wasn't talking at all," McGuire continued. "Every now and then, he'd blurt out a word. But when I say 'wasn't talking,' he would go weeks without saying anything. This is crazy. He's been doing great."The video of Micah repeating the names of his family members was followed up by a new recording where he says his name for the first time that's received over 2 million favorites. @haley_mcguire_photo Micah ? ##autisim ##speak ##ohio ##words ##proudparents ♬ original sound - haleymcguire23 McGuire says Micah is a very loving child and it's easy to see on the videos."Micah has always been a really sweet, tender-hearted, quiet kid," she said. "Obviously, he doesn't talk, but he kind of keeps to himself. He's always been extremely loving. I know that that's not necessarily normal for kids with autism. They like to not be touched and they like to be alone. But he's very affectionate and loving. It's been easy for us to be so happy and encouraging with him."The videos have warmed a lot of people's hearts online and have been source of inspiration for the McGuire family. But, maybe the best part about the videos is they also give hope to families of children with an autism spectrum disorder, especially those who long for the day they can hear their child first speak.This article originally appeared on 9.25.20

Roland Pollard and his then 4-year-old daughter Jayden have been doing cheer and tumbling stunts together since Jayden could walk. When you see videos of their skills, the level of commitment is apparent—as is the supportive relationship this daddy has with his daughter. Pollard, a former competitive cheerleader and cheer coach, told In The Know that he didn't expect Jayden to catch on to her flying skills at age 3, but she did. He said he never pressures her to perform stunts and that she enjoys it. And as a viral video of Jayden almost falling during a stunt shows, excelling at a skill requires good teaching—something Pollard appears to have mastered. Twitter user Toya Rochelle shared a TikTok video of Pollard's in which Jayden makes a mistake on a move and falls. Pollard first checked to make sure she was okay. Then he matter-of-factly pointed out the mistake and explained the importance of listening to instructions, while also letting her know that he wasn't going to let her fall. "Daddy will always save you," he said.Once she was calm and they'd talked through what happened, they tried again. This time, with success. — (@) Another Twitter user pointed out that there was more video that followed this interaction, showing how sweet this dad-daughter duo's relationship really is. After a high-five and an "I'm so proud of you," Pollard asked if Jayden was ready to go get some ice cream, but she just wanted to go home and have some real food. Really, it's the little things in their exchange that are the sweetest. For instance, she accidentally kicks him when he puts her on his shoulders and says, "Sorry," and he instantly responds, "That's okay." So calm, so considerate. It's clear that there's no shortage of love, trust and security here.Some watching the videos may feel that these kinds of cheer moves are too dangerous for a child. In an interview with E! News, Pollard explained that despite how the stunts may look to the public, he wouldn't let anything happen to Jayden. "I believe that fear is a taught or learned trait and I've never given her a reason to be afraid," he said. "Any flyer I have trained knows that I will catch them if anything tragic goes wrong. She doesn't necessarily push me directly, but when I see she gets a skill down, I always try and make it harder. I love my daughter with all of my heart and would never put her at risk."He also said he always tells her "Good job, mama!" after every stunt. "Before every stunt, I tell her I love her and give her a kiss for reassurance," he added. "We call it 'hardwood floor talk.'"This article originally appeared on 8.7.20

Beluga whales are affectionately known as sea canaries for their song-like vocalizations, and their name is the Russian word for "white." They are sociable animals that live, hunt, and migrate together in pods, ranging from a few individuals to hundreds of whales. However, they are naturally reticent to interact with humans, although some solitary belugas are known to approach boats. Once such beluga that's believed to live in Norwegian waters is so comfortable among humans that it played fetch with a rugby ball. It's believed that the researchers in the video are on a South African vessel known as the Dinah Explorer. The video first appeared on Facebook where the poster was certain the researchers are South Africans celebrating their team's 2019 Rugby World Cup victory. "Beluga Whale celebrating the Springboks victory somewhere close to the South Pole," Kowen wrote in the caption to the Facebook post. "Spot the Cape Town build Gemini Craft and the South African accents." Some believe the whale could be the same one that caught the public's attention earlier this year for harassing Norwegian fisherman. The whale was wearing a harness that read "Equipment St. Petersburg" so many thought it was, at some point, trained by the Russian military. The harness has since been removed. The whale went viral for fetching a phone that was dropped in the water by an eager fan. "We laid down on the dock to look at it and hopefully get the chance to pat it," Ina Mansika told The Dodo. "I had forgotten to close my jacket pocket and my phone fell in the ocean. We assumed it would be gone forever, until the whale dove back down and came back a few moments later with my phone in its mouth!" The whale returned the phone, but sadly it was no longer functional after falling into the frigid water. This article originally appeared on 11.8.19